Bar Chart

Band 4+: Bar charts show the proportion of money spent on food and other goods in 1998 and 2008

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The image shows two bar graphs labeled "Food" and "Other goods" comparing data from 1998 and 2008 for France, Germany, and England. In the "Food" graph, France has approximately 35 (1998) and 30 (2008), Germany has approximately 25 (1998) and 40 (2008), and England has approximately 15 (1998) and 45 (2008). In the "Other goods" graph, France has approximately 40 (1998) and 5 (2008), Germany has approximately 15 (1998) and 20 (2008), and England has approximately 10 (1998) and 25 (2008). All units and percentages are an approximation from observation; exact values are not provided.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart illustrates the proportion of money spent on food and other goods in France, Germany, and England, from a time period of 1998 and 2008.

Overall, money spent on food and other goods in three countries were higher in the year 2008, whereas money spent on food and other goods were lower in 1998.

In 1998, Germany spent the most money on food and other goods, France following after on food spending, with England being the least spender on food. France and England both spend the same amount of money in other goods.

In contrary, money spent on food and other goods were significantly higher, with France being the top spender on both subject, while Germany following second on food spending, and England on other goods. Lastly with England being the least spender on food and Germany on other goods.

In conclusion, France spend the most money in the year 2008 while Germany spend the most in 1998 on both subject.

Word Count: 163

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

other: 8

money: 7

goods: 6

spent: 5

france: 5

germany: 5

england: 5

being: 3

spender: 3

spend: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but struggles with clarity and accuracy in describing the trends. The overview is somewhat contradictory, as it claims spending on both categories was higher in 2008, which is not supported by the data for France's 'other goods' category. There is significant confusion in the body paragraphs regarding which country spent the most in which category, making it difficult for the reader to follow the actual data trends. To improve, focus on grouping the data more logically (e.g., comparing countries within a category or comparing categories within a country) and ensure that the descriptions of 'highest' and 'lowest' spenders accurately reflect the visual information provided.

Coherence & Cohesion

The organization of the report is somewhat repetitive, and the progression of ideas is difficult to follow in the latter half. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate (e.g., 'In contrary' instead of 'In contrast'). To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and use a variety of linking words to connect ideas logically rather than just listing data points. Avoid using a 'conclusion' in Task 1, as an 'overall' summary is sufficient; instead, focus on grouping data into logical comparisons.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive, frequently reusing terms like 'money spent' and 'spender.' There is also some awkward phrasing, such as 'on both subject' and 'least spender.' To reach a higher band, try to use synonyms (e.g., 'expenditure,' 'outlay,' 'consumption') and more precise collocations. Work on using more sophisticated ways to describe trends and comparisons. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are frequent grammatical errors that impact the clarity of the report. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'money... were' instead of 'was'), tense inconsistency (mixing present and past tense), and incorrect preposition usage. Additionally, sentence structures are often fragmented or run-on. Focus on mastering basic sentence structures and ensuring that verb tenses remain consistent throughout the report, especially when describing historical data.

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