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Band 4+: Describing effects of different brands of fertilizer on bean plant growth

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Image for topic: Describing effects of different brands of fertilizer on bean plant growth

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The image presents a bar chart titled "The Effect of Fertilizers on Bean Plant Growth" with five categories: Granny's Bloomers (21 cm), Job's House Plant Spikers (9 cm), Miracle Gro (24 cm), K Mark Fertilizer (18 cm), No Fertilizer (7 cm), indicating average height in cm of bean plants per fertilizer type.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar graph below illustrates the results of diverse brands of fertilizers on the growth of bean plant.

Overall, it is evident that Granny bloomers made the highest difference on plant growth, followed by K mark fertilizer, Jobs house plant spikers, then No fertilizer, while Miracle gro had the least.

To begin, looking at the figures of Grannys bloomers and K mark fertilizers, they accounted for approximately 30cm and just below 25cm on its effects on the beans vegetation, with granny bloomers taking the lead of the 5 crop boosters.

Furthermore, it is worthy to note that, Jobs house plant spikers was just half of Grannys bloomers with about 15cm in height. However, the bean plantation without fertilizers had a minimal growth of just about 10cm. which brings us to the least which is Miracle gro which had a minimal effect on the crops and was just significantly at 5cm.

Word Count: 150

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

bloomers: 4

fertilizers: 3

growth: 3

plant: 3

which: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task, but there are significant inaccuracies in how the data is reported compared to the provided visual description. The student frequently misrepresents the values (e.g., stating Miracle Gro was the least at 5cm when the data shows it was actually the highest at 24cm, and stating Granny's Bloomers was 30cm when it was 21cm). These contradictions between the data and the description make the overview and the details unreliable. To improve, ensure that the data points extracted from the chart are recorded accurately and that the comparisons (highest vs. lowest) align with the actual numerical values provided.

Coherence & Cohesion

The organization of ideas is somewhat logical, but the progression is hindered by poor sentence structure and punctuation errors. The use of cohesive devices is repetitive or used incorrectly (e.g., 'which brings us to the least'). To improve, focus on using a variety of linking words to connect ideas smoothly and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular purpose. Avoid using conversational phrases like 'which brings us to' in academic writing.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is limited and often used inaccurately. There are several instances where word choices do not fit the context (e.g., 'accounted for... on its effects' or 'significantly at 5cm'). There is also a lack of precision in describing the data. To improve, work on learning collocations related to data description (e.g., 'reached a height of', 'showed a significant increase') and ensure that the names of the categories are capitalized and used consistently.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and significantly impact the readability of the report. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence fragments (e.g., the sentence starting with 'which brings us to...'). Punctuation is also inconsistent. To improve, practice constructing complex sentences using relative clauses correctly and ensure that every sentence has a clear subject and predicate. Pay close attention to singular and plural noun forms.

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