Pie Chart

Band 5+: Employment status of Ashby and in the UK in 2008

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The image contains two pie charts comparing Ashby to The UK with percentages of people aged 23-65 in different occupations in 2008; percentages for Ashby are as follows: Unemployed 14, Construction work 9, Shop work 8, Professional work 21, Technical work 16, Personal service 18, Office work 14; percentages for The UK are as follows: Unemployed 19, Construction work 10, Shop work 10, Professional work 17, Technical work 13, Personal service 14, Office work 17.

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The pie chart below depicts the proportions of people aged 23-75 in distinct professions in Ashby and the overall UK in 2008

Overall, office worker in both of the chart shows a similar trend in that particular year. In Ashby, professional work had the smallest percentage whilst in the UK unemployed and construction work were equal in number.

In the town of Ashby, most of the employee works in these three most occupied sectors, personal service; office; and construction work. It got into the total of 55 percent of population. However the proportions of shop workers and unemployed people display a similar trend. In contrast, professional and technical work got the smallest percentage with 8 and 9 percent

On the other hand, the 19 percent of the civilian work in an office. Followed by the technical work and personal service which have a balanced proportion. Not only shop works but also professional are just under 15 percent of the populations. Ten-percent of the people in overall UK were unemployed. It happened to be the same percentage with the construction work

Word Count: 180

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 3

ashby: 3

professional: 3

percentage: 3

unemployed: 3

construction: 3

percent: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task but contains some inaccuracies and omissions. The overview is weak and doesn't effectively summarise the main trends. The body paragraphs contain some irrelevant or inaccurate information. For example, the report states that professional work had the smallest percentage in Ashby, but this is incorrect. To improve, focus on providing a clear and accurate overview, and ensure that the data presented in the body paragraphs is accurate and relevant.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization is somewhat unclear, and the flow of information could be improved. The introduction is adequate, but the body paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and transitions. The overview is not very insightful. Consider organizing the information more logically, perhaps by grouping similar categories or comparing and contrasting specific sectors between Ashby and the UK. Use cohesive devices (e.g., 'similarly,' 'in contrast,' 'however') to link ideas and sentences more effectively. Paragraphing needs improvement to enhance clarity.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and variety. Some phrases are a bit awkward or imprecise (e.g., 'distinct professions,' 'got into the total'). Try to use more specific and descriptive language to convey the information accurately. For example, instead of 'smallest percentage,' you could say 'lowest proportion.' Expanding your range of vocabulary and using more precise language will enhance the clarity and impact of your report.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'office worker in both of the chart shows'), article usage (e.g., 'the employee works'), and sentence structure. Some sentences are also awkwardly phrased or unclear. Focus on improving your grammatical accuracy by reviewing basic grammar rules and proofreading carefully. Pay attention to sentence structure, verb tenses, and article usage to ensure that your writing is clear and error-free.

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Band 5+: Employment status of Ashby and in the UK in 2008

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

Employment status of Ashby and in the UK in 2008

Employment status of Ashby and in the UK in 2008

Employment status of Ashby and in the UK in 2008

Employment status of Ashby and in the UK in 2008

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Check Your Answer On This Topic?

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Coherence & Cohesion

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