Bar Chart

Band 5+: Gadgets bought by men and women in the UK in 2013

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The image displays a bar chart showing gadgets bought by men and women in the UK in 2013 with the following data points: Programmable thermostat - Men: 25%, Women: 30%; Security cameras - Men: 45%, Women: 75%; Wireless home security systems - Men: 30%, Women: 50%; Energy management systems - Men: 40%, Women: 45%; Wireless home audio system - Men: 50%, Women: 15%; Programmable vacuum - Men: 70%, Women: 25%; Home movie theatre - Men: 50%, Women: 40%; Outdoor speaker system - Men: 20%, Women: 25%.

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The chart illustrates the bought gadgets by men and women in the UK, in 2013. Units are measured in persentages.

Overall the usage of the security camera was more trendy among women and the less among men. However, the most well-known item that men bought was wireless home audio system, wheraes the least widely used device that women used was outdoor speaker system.

In terms of security camera, women’s usage was just below 90%, on this as opposed around 25%. The need among women for security camera was higher compared to men (around 90% and 80%) respectively. However outdoor system was the less trendy for females approximately 20%.

As for the wireless home audio system, the males leading the chart with axactly 80% usage rate, wheraes female’s deployment was just below 60%.

In conclusion, the most widespread tech device for women was security camera, and the less popular was outdoor speaker system, whereas for men the most preferred peace of technology was wireless home audio system, while the less common one’s were security camera and wireless home security.

Word Count: 178

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

security: 6

women: 5

camera: 5

system: 5

wireless: 4

usage: 3

among: 3

audio: 3

outdoor: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to describe the bar chart, but it contains significant inaccuracies and misinterpretations of the data. The organization is somewhat unclear, and the language contains errors that impede understanding. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data, organizing the information logically, and using precise language.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization is somewhat unclear, and the flow of information is not always smooth. The introduction and conclusion are present, but the body paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and transitions. Consider organizing the body paragraphs around specific trends or comparisons to improve coherence. For example, group gadgets where women's usage was higher than men's in one paragraph and vice versa in another. Using cohesive devices like 'similarly,' 'in contrast,' and 'furthermore' can also enhance the flow of ideas.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is relatively basic and lacks precision. There are instances of imprecise word choice (e.g., 'trendy,' 'well-known item,' 'peace of technology'). To improve, try to incorporate more specific and varied vocabulary related to technology and consumer behavior. For example, instead of 'trendy,' you could use 'popular' or 'prevalent.' Instead of 'well-known item,' consider 'most purchased gadget.' Using a thesaurus can help expand your vocabulary range.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. There are also issues with punctuation, such as missing commas and incorrect use of apostrophes. To improve grammatical accuracy, review basic grammar rules and practice sentence construction. Pay close attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of articles and prepositions. Proofreading carefully for errors before submitting your work is essential.

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