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Band 6+: Money spent on apparels on the internet in the usa and japan

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The image depicts a double line graph illustrating internet apparel spending from 1999 to 2003 in Japan and the USA, with axes detailing years and millions of dollars in spending; for Japan, spending fluctuated starting at $10 million in 1999, reaching $15 million in 2000, dropping back to $10 million in 2001, surging to $20 million in 2002, and settling at $15 million in 2003; for the USA, spending initialized at $5 million in 1999, climbed to $10 million in 2000, again to $15 million in 2001, ventured further to $20 million in 2002, and finalized at $25 million in 2003.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line graph illustrates information about the cost of online closing shopping in two countries in the USA and Japan from 1999 to 2003.

Overall, there was increased spending on online shopping for clothing for both countries over the reporting period. Even though the Japan obviously spent more than America on purchase things in 1999, they ended at the same level in 2003.

While online shopping purchase in Japan was around 10 million in 1999, the figure for USA stood at just 5 million. After rising to 13 million in 2000, spending in Japan went down to 8 million in the following year. The numbers of spending in USA was 5 million, later then having increased at 10 million in 2000, online purchase subsequently underwent a decline over the next period.

What is particularly noteworthy is that by 2001 the gap between two countries narrowed steadily. In 2002, the figures of spending in Japan was nearly 19 million, whereas USA was approximately 17 million. Eventually, the two trends intersected at nearly 20 million in 2003, remaining at that exact level thereafter.

Word Count: 181

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

million: 9

japan: 5

online: 4

spending: 4

shopping: 3

countries: 3

purchase: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report appropriately addresses the task by describing the main trends and comparing the two countries over the given period. The overall structure is clear, with an introduction, an overview, and detailed paragraphs. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data (e.g., Japan's spending in 2000 and 2001, and the final value in 2003) and a few awkward phrasings (e.g., 'online closing shopping', 'purchase things', 'later then having increased'). To improve, ensure data figures are reported accurately and use more precise and natural language. Additionally, the overview could be strengthened by explicitly stating that the USA showed a consistent upward trend while Japan fluctuated before converging.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear referencing (e.g., 'the numbers of spending in USA was 5 million, later then having increased at 10 million in 2000, online purchase subsequently underwent a decline over the next period'). The progression of ideas could be smoother, and the final sentence introduces an unsupported claim about the trends remaining at the same level thereafter, which is not part of the data. Consider using clearer topic sentences and ensuring each paragraph has a distinct focus.

Lexical Resource

The report uses some appropriate vocabulary for describing trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'surged', 'narrowed', 'intersected'), but there are also inaccuracies and awkward collocations (e.g., 'cost of online closing shopping', 'purchase things', 'the numbers of spending'). The range of vocabulary is adequate but not fully flexible or natural. To improve, use more precise and varied terms for changes (e.g., 'rose steadily', 'peaked', 'levelled off') and ensure word choices are appropriate in context.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that affect clarity (e.g., 'Even though the Japan obviously spent more than America on purchase things', 'the numbers of spending in USA was 5 million', 'later then having increased'). Subject-verb agreement and article usage are inconsistent. To improve, proofread for subject-verb agreement, use articles correctly, and simplify sentences to ensure grammatical accuracy. A wider range of structures with more control would enhance the score.

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