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Band 7+: Percentage of first year teachers with regular teaching jobs by year of graduation

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The image depicts a graph on teacher recruitment percentages in Ontario from 2001-2007, showing English-language teachers starting at 70% in 2001, 30% in 2002, 50% in 2003, 40% in 2004, remaining at 40% in 2005, 30% in 2006, and dropping to 20% in 2007; French-language teachers beginning at 70% in 2001, hovering at 60% in 2002-2003, increasing to 70% in 2004, peaking at 80% in 2005-2006, and slightly declining to 75% in 2007.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line chart illustrates the percentage of first-year teachers with regular teaching jobs by year of graduation from 2001 to 2007 in Ontario.

Overall, the data is presented every one years. Additionally, the illustartion provides information about English and French language teachers. In 2007, the percentage of first-year English language teachers accounted for the lowest score; however the French language teachers accounted for the largest score during the same year.

On the one hand, the recruitment of English language teachers significantly decreased between 2001 and 2003. However, the percentage of recruitment steadily increased from 2003 to 2005. Moreover, the percentage of English language teachers dropped between 2005 and 2007.

On the other hand, the recruitment of French language teachers went down between 2001 and 2002; however, the percentage of first-year French language teachers gradually went up from 2002 to 2005. Additionally, between 2005 and 2006, occured decreasing but the number of French language teachers gradually grew in 2007.

Word Count: 158

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

teachers: 9

language: 8

percentage: 5

french: 5

english: 4

between: 4

first-year: 3

however: 3

recruitment: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task by summarizing the information presented in the line graph. The overview is acceptable, and the main trends are identified. The report could be improved by providing more specific data points and avoiding minor inaccuracies. Also, pay attention to grammatical errors and word choice to enhance clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear structure, including an overview and separate paragraphs for English and French language teachers. However, the transitions between some sentences could be smoother to improve the flow. For instance, in the second paragraph, the connection between the general statement about the data and the specific information about English and French language teachers could be clearer. Also, avoid repetition by using synonyms or varied sentence structures.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, appropriate for the task. Terms like 'significantly decreased,' 'steadily increased,' and 'gradually grew' are used effectively. To further enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating more precise vocabulary related to trends and data analysis, such as 'fluctuated,' 'plateaued,' or 'reached a trough.' Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report exhibits a reasonable command of grammar, but there are noticeable errors that affect clarity. For example, in the second paragraph, 'the illustartion provides' should be 'the illustration provides,' and 'accounted for the largest score' is awkward; consider 'reached its highest percentage.' In the final paragraph, 'occured decreasing' is grammatically incorrect; it should be 'a decrease occurred.' Correcting these errors and ensuring subject-verb agreement throughout will improve the grammatical accuracy.

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