Process Diagram

Band 6+: SEPTEMBER 7 EXAM DISCUSSION ⬇️ 📊 TASK 1: The diagram below shows the recycling process of aluminium cans.

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The image shows 11 sequential steps: 1) Waste, 2) Deposit, 3) Water, 4) Crush, 5) Process, 6) Erase with chemicals, 7) Heat, 8) Mould, 9) Weighting, 10) Rolling, 11) New cans, taking six weeks for completion.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The process diagram illustrates the process of recycling aluminium cans.

Overall,the process entails eleven stages beginning with collection of aluminium cans waste by means of a lorry to production of new cans.The whole process takes about six weeks to be completed.

Firstly,the waste is collected by means of a lorry then it is deposited in a factory where sorting of the waste products take place.Subsequently,the cans are cleaned thoroughly with running water from a tap to remove contaminants.After the cans are cleaned,they are crushed into preferred sizes and shapes.Next the cans are processed and the labels are erased with chemicals in a conical container.

Afterwards,the aluminium cans undergo heating then moulding into perfect design.Next the cans are weighed in preferred units of measurements on a weighing scale.They then undergo a rolling process by use of rollers for them to last long.Eventually,the aluminium cans are sealed,labelled,perfect size and design and new again ready for use.

Word Count: 154

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

process: 5

aluminium: 4

waste: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main stages of the recycling process and provides a clear overall description. It includes the key steps from collection to new cans and mentions the six-week duration. However, there are some minor omissions and inaccuracies, such as not explicitly mentioning the 'deposit' step as a separate stage and slightly misinterpreting the 'weighting' step. The report could be improved by ensuring all stages are accurately described and by using more precise vocabulary for process descriptions.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is logically organized and follows the sequence of the process, which helps the reader follow the main stages. However, there are some lapses in cohesion, such as missing commas after introductory phrases (e.g., 'Overall,the process...' and 'Firstly,the waste...') and occasional unclear referencing (e.g., 'they are crushed into preferred sizes and shapes' - 'preferred' is vague). The use of linking words like 'Firstly', 'Subsequently', 'Afterwards', and 'Eventually' is appropriate, but the flow could be smoother with more varied cohesive devices. Paragraphing is adequate, but the second paragraph is quite long and could be split for better readability. Overall, the message is clear, but the cohesion is not seamless.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary related to the recycling process, such as 'deposited', 'contaminants', 'conical container', 'undergo heating', and 'moulding', which shows some flexibility. However, there are instances of imprecise or informal word choices, such as 'by means of a lorry' (could be 'by lorry' or 'via lorry'), 'preferred sizes' (should be 'appropriate sizes' or 'required sizes'), and 'for them to last long' (could be 'to enhance durability'). The phrase 'perfect size and design' is repetitive and not very natural. To improve, use more precise and varied vocabulary, and avoid informal phrasing. The range is adequate but not sophisticated.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, with some accurate use of passive voice (e.g., 'the cans are cleaned', 'the labels are erased'). However, there are several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity. For example, missing spaces after commas (e.g., 'Overall,the', 'Firstly,the'), subject-verb agreement error ('sorting ... take place' should be 'takes place'), and awkward phrasing ('by use of rollers' should be 'using rollers'). The final sentence is grammatically incomplete and confusing: 'the cans are sealed, labelled, perfect size and design and new again' - this needs restructuring. To improve, focus on proofreading for punctuation, ensuring subject-verb agreement, and constructing clearer, more accurate sentences.

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