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Band 6+: summarise information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison relevant

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The image depicts a line graph titled "Unemployment rate in US and Japan" covering the period from Mar-93 to Mar-99. Data points for US start at 7% in Mar-93, declining to 6.5% in Mar-94, around 5.5% in Mar-95, approximately 5.0% in Mar-96, 4.5% in Mar-97, less than 4.5% in Mar-98, and just above 4.0% in Mar-99. Data for Japan begins at 2.5% in Mar-93, remains stable until Mar-95, then rises to nearly 3.0% in Mar-96, reaches 3.5% in Mar-97, hits 4.0% in Mar-98, and escalates to above 4.5% in Mar-99.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Thr graph illustrates data about the rate of unemployment in two different countries during the six-years period between 1993 and 1999.

At the beginning the US started with higher proportion, it stood at 7.0%. Then, it experienced a significant decrease to below 5.5% in 1995. Over a year, it slightly declined to more than 5.5%. Moreover, it witnessed a gradual decrease over the tree-years period, and ended up with almost 4.5% in 1999.

As the graph shows, Japan sterted with only 2.0% in March 1993. Nevertheless, it faced growth until 1996. The only year when the proportion of citizens without work decreased was in 1996, and it finished with nearly 6.0% in 1999.

Overall, the United States initiated with higher rate of unemployment, while Japan started with lower proportion of unemployment. However, the rate of unemployment in the US decreased over the following years, while in Japan it only increased.

Word Count: 150

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

unemployment: 4

proportion: 3

japan: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the graph and making relevant comparisons. The description of the trends in both the US and Japan is generally accurate, although there are some minor inaccuracies in the data reported. The overall summary is clear and concise. To improve, ensure greater accuracy in reporting specific data points and avoid minor errors. Also, the report could benefit from a more sophisticated use of vocabulary and sentence structure to enhance clarity and precision.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally coherent, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and overall summary. However, the transitions between some sentences and ideas could be smoother. For instance, in the second paragraph, the shift from the decrease in 1995 to the slight decline 'over a year' could be more clearly linked. Similarly, the third paragraph could benefit from clearer transitions to enhance the flow of information. Consider using cohesive devices like 'In contrast,' 'Furthermore,' or 'Subsequently' to improve the connections between sentences and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task. Terms like 'proportion,' 'significant decrease,' 'gradual decrease,' and 'witnessed' are appropriately used. However, there's room to enhance the lexical resource by incorporating more precise and varied vocabulary to describe trends and comparisons. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'decrease' or 'increase,' consider using synonyms like 'decline,' 'fall,' 'rise,' 'grow,' or 'escalate.' Additionally, using more specific language to describe the rates (e.g., 'a marginal increase,' 'a sharp decline') could improve the report's sophistication.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report generally demonstrates a reasonable command of grammar, but there are several errors that affect clarity. For example, 'Thr graph illustrates data' should be 'The graph illustrates data.' 'At the beginning the US started with higher proportion' should be 'At the beginning, the US started with a higher proportion.' 'Over a year, it slightly declined to more than 5.5%' should be 'Over a year, it slightly declined to less than 5.5%'. 'Japan sterted with only 2.0%' should be 'Japan started with only 2.0%'. 'The only year when the proportion of citizens without work decreased was in 1996, and it finished with nearly 6.0% in 1999' is grammatically awkward and contains inaccurate data. Proofreading carefully and focusing on correct tense usage, article usage, and subject-verb agreement will enhance grammatical accuracy.

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