Bar Chart

Band 5+: Summarize the information by selecting main features and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

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The image presents a bar chart showcasing five industries and their percentage share of Brazil’s economy in 2009, 2019 with a forecast for 2029. Five industries include Finance, Food processing, Manufacturing, Tourism, and Oil, coal, and gas. The data is as follows: Finance: 2009 - 25%, 2019 - 35%, 2029 - 40%; Food processing: 2009 - 30%, 2019 - 20%, 2029 - 15%; Manufacturing: 2009 - 35%, 2019 - 30%, 2029 - 25%; Tourism: 2009 - 15%, 2019 - 20%, 2029 - 25%; Oil, coal, and gas: 2009 - 20%, 2019 - 25%, 2029 - 30%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The depicted bar chart provides information and forcasts about various sectors of Brazil’s economy in percentages in 2009, 2019, and 2029.

The graph compares statistics such as finance, food processing, manufacturing, tourism, and oil, coal and gas. The figure of finance shows increasing throughout the period; meanwhile, the portion of manufacturing has a fall, and other industries show diverse deviations.

In the year of 2009, the most significant part of Brazil’s economy was finance, accounting for nearly 31%, whereas the least sougth-after part was food processing, totalling only 10%. Finance rose to around 37% by 2019, and it is expected to reach higher than 40% in 2029. In contrast, food processing grew to about 21% from a mere 10%, and has an expectation of decline to 10%. According a forcast of the share of manufacturing, it will have been dropped to 5% from 21% toward 2029. Tourism had fallen by 5% to 21% by 2019, being expected to show no change in 2029. In addition, oil coal and gas played a quite significant role in the economy, constituting around a quarter of the total percentage in 2009 and peaked at 31%. However, this share is predicted to have a decrease to the latter value by 2029.

Word Count: 206

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

finance: 4

economy: 3

processing: 3

manufacturing: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task and covers all five industries. However, there is a significant issue with data accuracy. While the instructions note that the visual description may be inaccurate, the report contains internal contradictions and figures that deviate wildly from the provided data (for example, reporting food processing at 10% in 2009 when the data says 30%, or manufacturing dropping to 5% when the data says 25%). To improve, ensure that the data extracted from the chart is reported consistently and accurately. Additionally, focus on improving grammatical accuracy, particularly with verb tenses when discussing forecasts (e.g., 'it will have been dropped' is incorrect).

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and inconsistent use of cohesive devices. Some transitions between sentences feel abrupt. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'In terms of...', 'Regarding...', 'Conversely') to create a smoother flow between different industry comparisons.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat repetitive and, in several instances, inaccurate in its application. For example, terms like 'least sought-after' are inappropriate for describing economic sectors in a data report. There are also issues with word choice such as 'diverse deviations' and 'the latter value,' which do not clearly convey the intended meaning. Aim to use more precise academic vocabulary for trends, such as 'fluctuated,' 'plummeted,' 'remained steady,' or 'projected to rise/fall.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report attempts a range of structures, including complex sentences and future tenses, but there are frequent errors that impact clarity. Issues with verb tenses (e.g., 'it will have been dropped') and preposition usage (e.g., 'According a forcast') are evident. There are also errors in subject-verb agreement and sentence construction. To improve, practice using the future passive and future perfect correctly when discussing forecasts, and ensure that your tense usage remains consistent with the time periods being described (past, present, and future).

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Band 5+: Summarize the information by selecting main features and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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Summarize the information by selecting main features and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

Summarize the information by selecting main features and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

Summarize the information by selecting main features and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

Summarize the information by selecting main features and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

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