Process Diagram

Band 5+: Task 1: The diagrams below give information about the manufacture of frozen fish pies.

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Image for topic: Task 1: The diagrams below give information about the manufacture of frozen fish pies.

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The image details a fish pie production process involving sequential stages for potatoes and fresh salmon. Potatoes go through "Up to one month" storage, then proceed to a "Clean" stage, "Peel," "Slice," "Boil," and "Chill" stages, converging for assembly. Fresh salmon undergoes steps labeled "12 hours or less" storage, "Lemon juice," "Salt," "Steam oven," "Remove skins and bones," "Inspect," and then are combined with "Prepared peas" and "Prepared sauce" before a "Wrap" stage. The final product transitions to "Store/dispatch," then "Freeze," and culminates in five boxed pies ready for delivery.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The diagram illustrates the process of manufacturing of frozen fish pies and explains the successive stage of manufacturing.

Overall, the process consists of two main stages, beginning with preparing potatoes and ending with preparing fresh salmon. it is noticeable that several stages involve cleaning and removing skins and bones from the salmon’s body. The process relies on automated machinery and manual labour.

Initially, potatoes are collected and cleaned. In the next step, they are peeled. After that, they are cut into slices and boiled. Following this, they are chilled, because they are going to be for assembly with salmon.

Continue to fresh salmon, they are stored in the storage with lemon juice and salt added. Subsequently, they are stored for up to 12 hours or less, and then steamed. The most significant process is the removing of skins and bones. Next, the automated machinery is cheeked for accuracy in manufacturing, and then peas are cooked. Thereafter, they are created especial dressing. Before the wrap step, the final product is transferred to, then to the freezers. Ultimately, the pies are ready of packing in five boxes for delivery.

Word Count: 187

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

process: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the main stages of the process and provides a general overview. However, there are several inaccuracies in the description of the sequence and the components. For instance, the report suggests that peas are cooked and a 'special dressing' is created, which deviates from the visual information regarding prepared peas and sauce. Additionally, the description of the salmon storage and the final assembly steps is somewhat confused. To improve, ensure that the logical flow of the diagram is followed strictly and that the relationship between the different ingredients (potatoes, salmon, peas, and sauce) is clearly articulated during the assembly stage.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical progression, but the cohesion is occasionally disrupted by awkward transitions and grammatical errors. While you use sequence markers like 'Initially', 'In the next step', and 'Subsequently', some transitions are used incorrectly (e.g., 'Continue to fresh salmon' should be 'Moving on to the fresh salmon'). Additionally, the connection between the potato and salmon processes is a bit disjointed. To improve, focus on using more sophisticated cohesive devices and ensure that each sentence flows naturally into the next without abrupt shifts in tone or structure.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is functional but limited and contains several inaccuracies. There are issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'the removing of skins', 'cheeked for accuracy' (likely intended as 'checked'), and 'ready of packing'. The use of 'especial dressing' is also unnatural in this context. To reach a higher band, aim to use a wider range of precise verbs and nouns related to manufacturing processes (e.g., 'processed', 'integrated', 'packaged') and ensure that word forms are used correctly.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex structures, but frequent errors in grammar and punctuation hinder the overall quality. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence construction (e.g., 'they are going to be for assembly', 'the final product is transferred to, then to the freezers'). Punctuation errors, such as the lowercase 'it' at the start of a sentence, also detract from the professionalism. Work on mastering complex sentence structures and ensuring that your use of prepositions and verb tenses is consistent throughout the report.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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