Bar Chart

Band 5+: The bar chart below illustrates five different industries' percentage share of Brazil's economy in 2009 and 2019 with a forecast for 2029. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The bar chart below illustrates five different industries' percentage share of Brazil's economy in 2009 and 2019 with a forecast for 2029. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image shows a bar chart of five industries' percentage share of Brazil's economy for 2009, 2019, and 2029 forecast: Finance 30% (2009), 35% (2019), 40% (2029); Food processing 10% (2009), 10% (2019), 15% (2029); Manufacturing 20% (2009), 15% (2019), 10% (2029); Tourism 25% (2009), 20% (2019), 5% (2029); Oil, coal and gas 5% (2009), 20% (2019), 30% (2029).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart compares the proportion of some different industries of Brazil’s economy in 2009 and 2019 with a forecast for 2029.

Overall, the five indicators show different trends over the period,with Finance becomind the leader at the end. Of particular note, the food processing and manufacturing sectors rocorded the lowest figures.

Focusind an the larger figures fisrt, Finance srood ar 32% in 2009. Then this number saw a noticeable rise to 36%, with a forecast to around 42%. Manufacturing, meanwhile, started out at the highest point of 21%. This figure markedly dropped to 16% in the half of the period to 5% in the future,respectifily.

Tourism and energy resourses, in contrast, stay statistic. The figure for tourism peaked at 26% in 2009,and slightly decline to 21%, when food processing and fossil fuels have the same situations. Food processing plateaued at 10 % at the begging. After that, it enormously climb to 21%,yet by 2029, this trend dramatically dipped to 10%.Finally,the proportion of energy resourses fluctuated around 25% in 2009 to 30 % in the middle of the period

Word Count: 179

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

processing: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by describing the main trends and making some comparisons, but it contains several inaccuracies and omissions. For instance, the figures for Finance, Manufacturing, and Tourism are not accurately reported, and the description of Food processing and Oil, coal and gas is confusing and partly incorrect. The overall trend is identified, but the details are often imprecise. To improve, focus on accurately reporting the data from the chart, ensure all industries are clearly described, and avoid vague or incorrect statements. Additionally, proofread for spelling and grammatical errors to enhance clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a logical structure with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs, but the flow is often disrupted by unclear referencing and abrupt transitions. For example, the phrase 'when food processing and fossil fuels have the same situations' is vague and confusing. The use of cohesive devices is inconsistent, and some sentences are not well connected. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and use a range of linking words and referencing (e.g., 'this', 'such', 'these') accurately to guide the reader smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The report attempts to use a range of vocabulary, such as 'noticeable rise', 'markedly dropped', and 'plateaued', which is appropriate for the task. However, there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'becomind', 'rocrded', 'Focusind', 'fisrt', 'srood', 'respectifily', 'resourses', 'statistic', 'begging', 'enormously') and some awkward word choices (e.g., 'stay statistic' instead of 'remained stable'). These errors detract from the overall lexical quality. To improve, proofread carefully and use more precise and natural collocations, such as 'remained steady' or 'experienced a significant increase'. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are numerous grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity. For example, 'with Finance becomind the leader' should be 'with Finance becoming the leader', and 'in the half of the period' is awkward. There are also missing commas and incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'decline' should be 'declined'). To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct verb tenses, and proper use of articles and prepositions. Reviewing grammar rules and practicing writing more complex sentences accurately will help.

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