Bar Chart

Band 4+: The bar chart below shows the different types of electronic devices used by people in Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The bar chart below shows the different types of electronic devices used by people in Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image features a bar chart measuring "Percentage" along the vertical y-axis (from 0 to 100 with gridlines at intervals of 20) across four categories on the horizontal x-axis labeled "Device": smartphone, tablet, laptop, and e-reader, segmented into four age groups: 12-24 year olds, 25-50 year olds, 51-75 year olds, and 76 years+. For smartphones, the percentages are approximately 65% for 12-24 year olds, 42% for 25-50 year olds, 33% for 51-75 year olds, and 7% for 76 years+. For tablets, values are 30% for 12-24 year olds, 40% for 25-50 year olds, 21% for 51-75 year olds, and 4% for 76 years+. For laptops, the proportions are approximately 5% for 12-24 year olds, 12% for 25-50 year olds, 41% for 51-75 year olds, and 28% for 76 years+. For e-readers, values are approximately 1% for 12-24 year olds, 6% for 25-50 year olds, 5% for 51-75 year olds, and 62% for 76 years+.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart illustrates the varities of electronic devices used by humans in Australia 2008.

Overall, it is clear that smartphones and tablets are more common among 12-24 year olds, it is about 30% to 65%.it shows that thare is a huge demand for this kind of devices among younger generation.

However, when it comes to the elderly people around 51-75year old and 76 years+, they did not have a good communication with tablet and smartphones and the percentages are 0%-5% and it simply clears that they prefer other kind of devices rather than smartphones.

By contrast, elderly peope the millenials and x generation have a different preffence about electronics. The statistics shows that thay prefer more comfortable stuffs like laptops and e-reader for open a important fyles and reading electonical articles, books, and of course it may also for their jobs. 51-76 years old people usege were 41% to 61% for laptops and e-readers.

Word Count: 155

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

devices: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task by describing the main trends in device usage across age groups, but it contains several inaccuracies and omissions. For example, it incorrectly states that elderly people's usage of tablets and smartphones is 0%-5%, while the actual figures are higher (e.g., 33% for smartphones among 51-75 year olds). It also omits specific data for the 25-50 age group and provides vague or incorrect percentages for laptops and e-readers. The report would benefit from a clearer structure, more precise data, and a more balanced comparison across all age groups and devices. Additionally, avoid informal language and ensure all statements are supported by the chart.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a basic structure with an introduction and an overall statement, but the flow of ideas is often disrupted by unclear referencing and abrupt transitions. The second paragraph introduces a comparison between age groups, but the connection to the following paragraph is weak. The final paragraph lacks a clear link to the previous ones and introduces new information without a logical progression. To improve, use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, with cohesive devices (e.g., 'in contrast', 'similarly') to guide the reader smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, with some inappropriate word choices (e.g., 'varities', 'humans', 'stuffs', 'fyles', 'electonical'). There is an attempt to use some descriptive language (e.g., 'huge demand', 'comfortable'), but it is not always accurate or natural. To improve, expand your range of vocabulary related to data description (e.g., 'proportion', 'usage rate', 'significant difference') and ensure correct spelling and word forms. Avoid informal or vague terms like 'stuff' and use precise nouns.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors and punctuation issues that significantly hinder clarity. There are problems with subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and sentence structure (e.g., 'it is about 30% to 65%.it shows that thare is...'). Additionally, there are frequent spelling mistakes (e.g., 'preffence', 'usege', 'millenials') and incorrect use of articles. To improve, focus on writing clear, simple sentences with correct punctuation, and proofread for common errors. Practice using a variety of sentence structures, such as complex sentences with relative clauses, to demonstrate greater grammatical control.

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Band 4+: The bar chart below shows the different types of electronic devices used by people in Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

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The bar chart below shows the different types of electronic devices used by people in Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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