Bar Chart

Band 5+: The bar chart below shows the percentage of households that owned four types of consumer durable - a car, a washing machine, a computer, and a smartphone - in a particular country in 2005 and 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The bar chart below shows the percentage of households that owned four types of consumer durable - a car, a washing machine, a computer, and a smartphone - in a particular country in 2005 and 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image displays a bar chart titled 'Household ownership of consumer durables, 2005 vs 2020', showing the percentage of households owning specific items. In 2005, the ownership rates were: Car 62%, Washing machine 55%, Computer 40%, and Smartphone 5%. In 2020, the ownership rates were: Car 74%, Washing machine 88%, Computer 82%, and Smartphone 93%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The chart illustrates the amount of family who owned a car, waching machine, computer, and smartphone compared in 2005 and 2020. Units are measured in percentage.

Overall, familys in 2020 more biased to have the four consumer durables compared to 2005. The 2020’s familys are always had more than 70% ownership of the big four consumer durables, respectively. In other hand, Familys in 2005 had less than 70% ownership. There was big gap for percentage of familys that had smartphone in 2005 and 2020.

In 2005, 62% of familys had car, 55% had washing machine, 40% had computer and only 5% had smartphone. This means that familys in 2005 prefered to owning car than smartphone.

In 2020, the percetage of each item are almost same. Smartphone was the most owned at the time with the percentage is 93%. Washing machine and computer got 88% and 82% of ownership, respectively. Car only got 74% which mean that lowest percentage of ownership in 2020.

Word Count: 162

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

familys: 6

smartphone: 4

ownership: 4

machine: 3

computer: 3

percentage: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by presenting the main features and making comparisons between the two years. However, there are several inaccuracies and omissions that affect clarity. For instance, the statement that '2020's families are always had more than 70% ownership' is incorrect because the car ownership is 74%, which is above 70%, but the phrasing is awkward. Also, the claim that 'the percentage of each item are almost same' is inaccurate as the percentages vary from 74% to 93%. Additionally, there are numerous grammatical and spelling errors (e.g., 'familys', 'waching', 'percetage', 'prefered') that detract from the overall quality. To improve, focus on accurate data reporting, use precise language, and proofread for errors. Organize the information more clearly, perhaps by grouping items with similar trends, and ensure all comparisons are accurate.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction, overview, and two body paragraphs. However, the flow is disrupted by frequent errors in referencing (e.g., 'familys' instead of 'households') and some unclear phrasing (e.g., 'more biased to have', 'the big four consumer durables, respectively'). The overview is present but could be more precise. Paragraphing is adequate, but the use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate (e.g., 'In other hand' instead of 'On the other hand'). To improve, use a wider range of linking words and ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic with smooth transitions.

Lexical Resource

The report uses some appropriate vocabulary for describing data (e.g., 'illustrates', 'percentage', 'ownership'), but there are several lexical errors and repetitions. For example, 'familys' is used repeatedly instead of 'households' or 'families', and 'waching machine' is misspelled. The phrase 'more biased to have' is unnatural; better alternatives include 'more likely to own' or 'had higher ownership rates'. The range of vocabulary is limited, and there is little use of synonyms or more sophisticated terms. To improve, expand your lexical range and use precise, natural collocations (e.g., 'ownership rates', 'accounted for', 'experienced an increase'). Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity and accuracy. There are subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'the amount of family who owned' should be 'the percentage of households that owned'), incorrect plural forms ('familys' should be 'families' or 'households'), and tense inconsistencies. Some sentences are incomplete or awkwardly phrased (e.g., 'The 2020's familys are always had more than 70% ownership'). Punctuation is also problematic, with missing commas and incorrect use of apostrophes. To improve, focus on sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and proofreading for common errors. Use a variety of complex structures, such as relative clauses and comparative forms, to demonstrate greater grammatical control.

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