Bar Chart

Band 5+: The bar chart below shows the percentage of people in four countries who could access the Internet in 2000 and 2010.

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The image shows bar chart data with countries and percentages for the years 2000 and 2010; USA: 43% in 2000, 77% in 2010; Canada: 45% in 2000, 88% in 2010; Germany: 30% in 2000, 69% in 2010; Mexico: 10% in 2000, 38% in 2010.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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This bar chart illustrates the comparative of accessibility on Internet of people in four countries between 2000 and 2010 in percentage. These four countries are consist of USA , Canada, Germany and Mexico.

In detail, Canadian accessibility on internet was at 45% in 2000. It rised to 88% in 2010. The gap of the rising is 43% which is considered the hightest development among the four countries through time.

When, The US internet accessible was at 43% in 2000. It goes to 77% in 2010. While, Germany had 30% in 2000 and 69% in 2010. Both countries have nearly the same rate of the gap between 2000 and 2010 at 33-39 of development that are considered the medium range of development in internet accessible.

Meanwhile, Accessibility on internet of Mexican is 10%. It rise to the peak of 38% in 2010.

In conclusion, Canada is the most accessible on internet in 2000 and 2010.Mexico is the worst accesible on internet in both 2000 and 2010.

Word Count: 165

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

internet: 7

countries: 4

accessibility: 3

development: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately covers the main trends and data points presented in the bar chart. The description of each country's internet accessibility between 2000 and 2010 is clear and generally accurate. To improve, focus on enhancing the organization and flow of information. For instance, grouping countries by similar trends or magnitudes of change could make the comparison more insightful. Also, pay attention to grammatical accuracy and word choice to enhance clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization is somewhat clear, but the flow of information could be improved. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. For example, transition words and phrases could be used to signal relationships between data points and trends. Paragraphing is generally adequate, but could be refined to group related information more effectively.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but there are instances where more precise or sophisticated language could be used. For example, instead of 'rised,' consider using 'increased' or 'grew.' Also, try to vary your vocabulary to avoid repetition. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'accessibility on internet,' you could use phrases like 'internet access' or 'internet penetration.' Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and article usage. For example, 'comparative of accessibility on Internet' should be 'comparison of internet accessibility'. Also, review sentence structure to ensure that sentences are grammatically correct and easy to understand. Proofreading carefully before submitting your work can help identify and correct these errors.

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