Bar Chart

Band 6+: The bar chart below shows the spending of 18 - 20 people in five different activity.

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Image for topic: The bar chart below shows the spending of 18 - 20 people in five different activity.

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The image shows a bar chart titled 'Spending by 18-20-year-olds in one country on five different products', with data for 2010 and 2014 in millions of dollars. The spending figures for 2010 and 2014 respectively were: Food, approximately $38 million and $44 million; Clothes, $25 million and $25 million; Books, $10 million and $5 million; Smartphones, $20 million and approximately $27 million; and Toiletries, approximately $18 million and $20 million.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart illustrates the spending of teenagers within a country on five different ranges of products in 2010 and 2014.

Overall, it is clear that the figures for 2014 were higher than 2010 in three kinds of products; food, smartphones, toiletries, while the trend for books surpassed in formal year compared to 2014. It is also worth noting that the clothes industry experienced the same demand in two years.

With regard to 2010, the food products faced the highest demand compared to others, reaching a peak of 37 millions of dollars. Clothes, on the other hand, were also considerably popular, which was around 25 million among the younger generation. The figure for smartphones was around 20 million, while the toiletries’ trend was just under 20 million dollars. Lastly, books experienced the lowest demand from adolescents, which was only 10 million.

As for the numbers in 2014, the food industry again dominated the field, climbing the maximum of 43 million of dollars. The figure for smartphones was the second most popular need, reaching approximately 28 million. Furthermore, clothes saw nearly 25 million dollars in demand, while toiletries were around 20 million. Therefore, the trends for books were again the least popular products, reaching only 5 million of dollars.

Word Count: 208

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

million: 8

dollars: 5

demand: 4

products: 3

smartphones: 3

while: 3

books: 3

clothes: 3

reaching: 3

popular: 3

around: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by providing a clear overview and detailed comparisons of the data for both years. The trends for all five categories are identified, and the grouping of information is logical. To improve, ensure more precise use of vocabulary when describing trends (e.g., using 'decreased' instead of 'surpassed' when referring to the decline in book spending) and maintain consistent terminology for the subjects being discussed.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure with an introduction, overview, and two body paragraphs organized by year. However, the cohesion is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and imprecise transitions. For example, the use of 'while the trend for books surpassed in formal year compared to 2014' is confusing and disrupts the flow. To improve, focus on using more natural cohesive devices and ensure that comparative structures (e.g., 'in contrast to', 'similarly') are used to link ideas between the two years more smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task and includes some attempts at variety (e.g., 'dominated the field', 'experienced the lowest demand'). However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and awkward collocations. For instance, 'the clothes industry experienced the same demand' and 'the food products faced the highest demand' are slightly unnatural in this context. Additionally, 'formal year' is an incorrect usage. Aim to use more precise academic collocations, such as 'expenditure on food' instead of 'food products faced demand', and ensure that terms like 'trend' are used correctly to describe changes over time.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impact clarity. Errors include issues with noun number (e.g., '37 millions of dollars' should be '37 million dollars') and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'climbing the maximum of'). There are also issues with preposition usage and sentence construction in the overview. To improve, pay close attention to the rules regarding units of measurement (million vs. millions) and practice constructing comparative sentences to ensure they are grammatically sound.

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