Bar Chart

Band 5+: The bar chart depicts the number of adults participating in many kinds of major sports in an area, in 1997 and 2017.

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The image shows a bar chart with the number of adults (in thousands) participating in major sports in 1997 and 2017. Tennis: 1997 - 50, 2017 - 40. Basketball: 1997 - 10, 2017 - 20. Cricket: 1997 - 15, 2017 - 10. Golf: 1997 - 20, 2017 - 25. Swimming: 1997 - 30, 2017 - 35. Football: 1997 - 40, 2017 - 45. Rugby: 1997 - 20, 2017 - 25.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart depicts the number of adults participating in many kinds of major sports in an area, in 1997 and 2017.

In 1997, most people, around 50,000 adults participated in tennis. In this year, tennis had the biggest proportion of participants among others. In general, there were 3 trends of changes from 1997 and 2017, increasing, declining, and stable. There were five sports experienced an increasing trend such as tennis, basketball, golf, football, and rugby. The number of adults joined the tennis went up slightly from 50000 to 55000. Then, football and rugby had the same trends. They rose from around 30000 in 1997 to almost 50000 people in 2017. Golf also had upward trend, but negligible from 32000 until 33000 adults, still under 35000 in both years. Next, basketball also rose in 10 years. Unlike other sports, basketball increased sharply from just under 10000 in 1997 to around 25000 in 2017. In 1997, basketball had the least number of participants.

On the other hand, there was a sport experienced a downward trend. It was cricket. In 1997, cricket had 25000 participants, but it declined in 2017 to under 10000. Different from other sports, adults participated in swimming were remain stable from 1997 to 2017, which were around 35000.

All in all, there were five kinds of sports experienced increasing trend from 1997 to 2017. The sports were tennis, basketball, golf, football, and rugby. Then, the sport which had descending trend was cricket. Last, unlike most sports, the participants of cricket went down from 1997 to 2017. In both years, the biggest number of adults participated in tennis. In 1997, the least number of adults participated in basketball, then in 2017 it was cricket.

Word Count: 285

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

adults: 7

sports: 7

tennis: 6

basketball: 6

number: 5

trend: 5

cricket: 5

around: 4

participated: 4

there: 4

50000: 3

participants: 3

increasing: 3

experienced: 3

football: 3

rugby: 3

under: 3

years: 3

other: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task and provides an overview of the main trends, but it contains several inaccuracies and inconsistencies. For example, it states that tennis increased from 50,000 to 55,000, but the data shows a decrease to 40,000. It also misreports the values for football, rugby, golf, basketball, and cricket. The report incorrectly identifies the sports with increasing trends, as tennis actually declined. Additionally, the conclusion repeats some points and contains contradictory statements about cricket. To improve, ensure that all data is accurately reported and that the overview clearly reflects the main trends without contradictions. Focus on presenting the key features clearly and accurately.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by unclear referencing and repetitive phrasing. For example, the phrase 'the number of adults joined the tennis' is awkward, and the conclusion repeats information unnecessarily. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate (e.g., 'Unlike other sports' is used incorrectly for basketball, as it is not the only sport that increased). To improve, use a wider range of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea with smooth transitions between sentences.

Lexical Resource

The report uses some appropriate vocabulary for describing trends (e.g., 'increased sharply', 'declined', 'remained stable'), but there are several inaccuracies and repetitions. For instance, 'trends of changes' is not idiomatic, and 'the number of adults joined the tennis' is awkward. The phrase 'had the biggest proportion of participants among others' is wordy. To improve, use more precise and varied vocabulary, such as 'witnessed a significant rise', 'experienced a slight decrease', and 'remained constant'. Also, avoid repeating the same structures and words (e.g., 'trend' is used too often). Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'There were five sports experienced an increasing trend' should be 'There were five sports that experienced an increasing trend' or 'Five sports experienced an increasing trend'. Also, 'the number of adults joined the tennis' should be 'the number of adults who joined tennis'. There are issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage (e.g., 'a sport experienced' should be 'a sport that experienced'). The range of sentence structures is limited, with many simple sentences. To improve, practice using complex sentences with relative clauses and ensure subject-verb agreement and correct article usage throughout.

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