Bar Chart

Band 6+: The bar chart illustrates the number of male and female students selecting six major subjects in a university of the US in the year 2010.

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The image displays a bar chart showing the number of male and female students selecting six major subjects in a US university in 2010; Marketing meets 150 males and 100 females; Accounting reaches 150 males and 90 females; Finance registers at 110 males and 200 females; Economics is at 150 males and 50 females; Engineering shows 120 males and 30 females; Mathematics accounts for 200 males and 100 females.

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The bar chart provides information about the number of male and female students selecting six major subjects in the university of the US in the year 2010.

Accounting and finance fields dominated among both male and female. These fields were chosen similarly, 150 to 200 and more number of individuals of different genders showed the highest outcomes. On the other hand, engineering was the least priority by students. Only 50, give or take 30 of students went to this major.

The highest number of female were seen in majors as finance, accounting and marketing were most popular. It showed larger numbers compared to men. In addition to this women showed similar data to men in engineering as men did, but, a little less. Male showed significantly wide interest in mathematics. 200 of them chose math by dominating female in this field.

In contrast, male group was recorded in finance and mathematics the most, up to 200 and more. Surprisingly, both genders showed the equal results in finance field. Also, in engineering the interest of both two were approximately the same.

Word Count: 180

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

showed: 5

female: 4

finance: 4

number: 3

students: 3

engineering: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report generally addresses the task, but there are some inaccuracies and a lack of specific data. The organization is somewhat unclear, and the analysis could be more insightful. To improve, focus on providing precise data from the chart, organizing the information more logically (e.g., by subject or gender), and avoiding generalizations.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but the flow of ideas could be improved. The organization into paragraphs is present, but the transitions between them are not always smooth, leading to some choppiness. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs to enhance readability and logical flow. For example, using transition words like 'However,' 'Furthermore,' or 'In contrast' more effectively could help guide the reader through the comparison of different subjects and genders.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate but lacks sophistication and precision. There's some repetition of simple words and phrases. To improve, try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to describing data and trends. For instance, instead of saying 'showed larger numbers,' you could use phrases like 'represented a higher proportion' or 'exhibited a greater preference.' Also, focus on using more precise language to describe the data, avoiding vague terms like 'similarly' or 'approximately the same.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect clarity. While the basic sentence structures are generally correct, there are errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. To improve, focus on proofreading carefully for these common errors. Additionally, work on using a wider range of sentence structures to add complexity and sophistication to your writing. For example, try incorporating more complex sentences with subordinate clauses or relative clauses to express relationships between ideas more effectively.

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