Bar Chart

Band 6+: The bar chart illustrates the participation of men and women aged 18-20 in various activities during one month. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The bar chart illustrates the participation of men and women aged 18-20 in various activities during one month. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image presents a bar chart titled "Percentage of males and females ages 18-20 doing different activities", with a vertical axis marked from 0% to 60% in increments of 10% and a horizontal axis listing five activities: Basketball, Cycling, Football, Swimming, and Hockey. According to the legend, data is divided into Males (white bars) and Females (black bars). The recorded percentages for each activity are: Basketball, Males approximately 33% and Females approximately 12%; Cycling, Males approximately 36% and Females 40%; Football, Males approximately 52% and Females approximately 15%; Swimming, Males 20% and Females 35%; and Hockey, Males approximately 12% and Females approximately 4%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The bar chart illustrates the involvement of men and women aged 18 to 20 across different tasks in one month. The figures are given in percentages.

Overall, it is clear that football recorded the highest figure, where as hockey had the lowest participation of men. In other hand, cycling was accounted for the largest percentages in women. In addition, there was clear gap between involvement of male and females in football.

In detail, of men activities through a month. With regard to the higher figures, football stood at approximately 52%, making it the largest figure shown on the chart. This was followed by cycling, at 40%. The figure for hockey meanwhile, was considerably lowest, at around 12%. Thus there was a roughly 46% between football and hockey.

Turning to women activities in one month, cycling accounted for largest proportion at 40%, compared with around 35% for swimming. Although the two figures were relatively similar, cycling was marginally higher than swimming. By contrast, hockey was recorded for around 5%, representing the lowest figure among women cateogories.

Word Count: 175

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

women: 4

figure: 4

cycling: 4

month: 3

figures: 3

football: 3

hockey: 3

lowest: 3

largest: 3

around: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task by presenting an overview and key features of the chart, with some comparisons between male and female participation. However, there are a few inaccuracies and omissions: the percentage for male cycling is incorrectly stated as 40% (should be approximately 36%), and the report omits the female participation in basketball and football. Additionally, some phrasing is awkward or unclear (e.g., 'of men activities through a month', 'In other hand'), and there are minor grammatical errors. To improve, ensure all key data points are accurately reported and refine sentence structures for clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction, an overview, and separate paragraphs for male and female data. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear references (e.g., 'of men activities through a month' and 'Thus there was a roughly 46% between football and hockey'). The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate (e.g., 'where as', 'In other hand'). To improve, use a wider range of linking words and phrases accurately, and ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and logical progression.

Lexical Resource

The report uses some appropriate vocabulary for describing data (e.g., 'illustrates', 'involvement', 'figures', 'accounted for', 'stood at', 'marginally higher'). However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and repetition (e.g., 'activities' used repeatedly, 'cateogories' misspelled). The range of vocabulary is adequate but not wide, and some phrases are awkward (e.g., 'of men activities through a month'). To improve, use more varied and precise terms (e.g., 'participation rates', 'proportions', 'significant difference') and ensure correct spelling.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, including comparative forms and complex sentences. However, there are several grammatical errors and awkward constructions that affect clarity (e.g., 'where as' should be 'whereas', 'In other hand' should be 'On the other hand', 'there was clear gap' should be 'there was a clear gap', 'considerably lowest' should be 'considerably lower', 'was recorded for' should be 'was recorded at'). Punctuation is mostly correct, but some sentences are incomplete or run-on. To improve, proofread for subject-verb agreement, article usage, and correct comparative/superlative forms, and ensure each sentence is complete and clear.

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