Bar Chart

Band 5+: The bar chart illustrates the proportion of Vietnamese males and females engaging in different leisure activities in the year 2010

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The image displays a bar chart detailing percentages of boys and girls in various activities in Vietnam, 2010: Art and Craft - Boys 5%, Girls 25%; Books - Boys 10%, Girls 15%; Computer Games - Boys 20%, Girls 10%; DVDs - Boys 15%, Girls 10%; Going to the park - Boys 10%, Girls 18%; Sports - Boys 25%, Girls 5%.

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The bar chart gives infirmation of the percentage of the Vietnamese boys and girls participating in various activities in 2010.

overall, the most chosen by males was the sports, while the most chosen by females was art and craft. and the less chosen by mans was art and craft, while theless chosen by girls were going to the park and sports.

In 2010 the most chosen by mans was sports with around of 28% of participating, the second more chosen by males was going to the park. In the middle were DVDs and computers games with 15% of participating, and books with 10% of chosen.While the less chosen by boys was arts and crafts with 10% and 7% of participating .

The most chosen by girs was art and crafts with 25% of chosen, and the second more chosen by womans were DVDs and bookd with 18% of chosen, the middle is computers games with 15%.while the less chosen by woman were sports and going to park the with 13% of participating.

Word Count: 172

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

chosen: 12

participating: 5

sports: 3

going: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are some inaccuracies in the data reported and some issues with the organization and clarity of the writing. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data from the chart and organizing the information more logically, perhaps by grouping activities or comparing male and female participation more directly. Also, pay attention to grammar and vocabulary to enhance clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has some organizational structure, but the flow of information is disrupted by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Paragraphing is present but could be improved to better separate and highlight key trends. Focus on using clearer transitions and ensuring each sentence logically connects to the previous one.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive. There's a reliance on phrases like 'most chosen' and 'less chosen.' Expand your vocabulary by using synonyms and more precise language to describe the data. For example, instead of 'most chosen,' consider using 'the most popular' or 'the activity with the highest participation rate.' Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains frequent grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and misuse of articles and prepositions. Sentence structure is often awkward and unclear. Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and sentence construction. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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