Bar Chart

Band 4+: The bar chart shows the information of the number of volunteers and paid workers in 4 different roles in the sport sector of an australian town in 2015

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Image for topic: The bar chart shows the information of the number of volunteers and paid workers in 4 different roles in the sport sector of an australian town in 2015

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The image depicts a bar chart illustrating the number of people involved in four sports sectors in an Australian town in 2015, segmented into volunteer and paid categories: Coaches have 70 participants in the volunteer category and 50 in the paid category; Referees have 40 volunteers and 55 paid individuals; Managers have 25 volunteers and 55 paid individuals; Other sections have 55 volunteers and 40 paid participants.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Bar chart showcases how many people were engaged in different fields of sports in an Australian town in 2015. It is evident by the bar chart than the number of unpaid workers attracted to different roles varied significantly compared to those who were paid across all roles.

As for details, volunteers remained dominant in all roles showing greater number of people than those who were paid, with the exception of referees: coachers with highest amount of unpaid workers at around 74 workers, managers consisting around 41 workers, referees with 30 unpaid workers, and miscellaneous roles included at around 59 workers.

Across the trends, all roles illustrated simililar amounts paid of workers with al of them being close to around 40 people. Number of unpaid workers

Word Count: 125

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

workers: 7

unpaid: 4

roles: 4

around: 4

people: 3

number: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies the main trends but contains inaccuracies in the data reported. The description of the data is not always clear and contains some errors. To improve, ensure accurate data reporting and clarity in descriptions. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization is somewhat unclear, and the flow of information could be improved. The introduction provides a general overview, but the subsequent paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and transitions. The final sentence is incomplete, disrupting the overall coherence. To enhance coherence, ensure each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the chart and use transition words to connect ideas smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally adequate but could be more precise and varied. Terms like 'amount,' 'miscellaneous roles,' and 'simililar amounts' are not the most accurate or sophisticated choices. To improve lexical resource, try to use more specific vocabulary related to numerical data and roles in sports, such as 'the highest number,' 'other roles,' and 'comparable figures.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'coachers with highest amount of unpaid workers at around 74 workers' and 'managers consisting around 41 workers' contain incorrect verb forms and awkward phrasing. Additionally, there are issues with subject-verb agreement and sentence structure. To enhance grammatical accuracy, carefully review each sentence for errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and word choice. Pay attention to the correct use of prepositions and articles.

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