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Bar Chart

Band 4+: The bar chart shows the percentages of the Canadian workforce in five major industries in 1850 and 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Image for topic: The bar chart shows the percentages of the Canadian workforce in five major industries in 1850 and 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The image is a bar graph depicting the percentage of Canadian workforce in five industries, comparing the years 1850 and 2020. The manufacturing industry had 36% in 1850, and 9% in 2020. The services industry increased from 33% to 81%. Agriculture/fishing decreased from 22% to 1%. Construction increased from 1% to 5%. Energy/Water had 8% in 1850 and 3% in 2020.
Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.
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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The graph demonstrates the share of Canadian employees in five main 5 sectors of economics which include manufacturing,services,agriculter ,building,global energy and water resoures between 1850 and 2020.

Oversll,the highest persentage of labour force consist just over three quarters in 2020 in the field of services while, agriculture,fishing and constuction maked up a very small proportion of staff.

It is noticable that the proportion of personall in services constituted about 35 persentage in 1850.However in 2020 figure increased significantly to 81 ratio.The rate of workforce in manufacturing in 1850 amounted well over tan quarter but, in 2020 it dropped noticably to aproximatelly 10 persentage.The share of labour force in constuction has hardly changed over 170 years.Agricultre proportion maked just over than quarter in 1850 but in 2020 there is significantly fall.Persentage of human resources in energy and water has changed very little .

Word Count: 142

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Overall Band Score

4.5
(+/- 0.5)
Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A
Vocabulary Repetition:
proportion: 3
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Task Response

6
The report covers the main features of the graph and makes relevant comparisons between the two years. There are some minor inaccuracies in the data reported, but overall the response is clear and well-organized. To improve, ensure data accuracy and vary sentence structure more. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

4
The report demonstrates an attempt to organize information into paragraphs, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are sometimes abrupt, making it harder for the reader to follow the main points. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas and improve the overall structure.

Lexical Resource

5
The report uses a mix of basic and more advanced vocabulary, but there are instances of imprecise word choice. For example, 'maked up' and 'personall' are not used correctly. Expanding your vocabulary and focusing on accurate usage would enhance the clarity and impact of your writing.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

3
The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and punctuation mistakes. These errors affect the clarity and readability of the report. Focus on improving your understanding and application of basic grammar rules to enhance the accuracy of your writing.

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