Bar Chart

Band 6+: The bar chart shows the percentages of the UK workforce in five major five industries in 1841 and 2011.

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Image for topic: The bar chart shows the percentages of the UK workforce in five major five industries in 1841 and 2011.

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The image is a bar chart showing the percentage of the UK workforce in five major industries in 1841 and 2011. Manufacturing had 33% in 1841 and 9% in 2011, Services had 9% and 81% respectively, Agriculture and Fishing had 22% and 1%, Construction had 5% and 8%, and Energy and Water had 3% and 1%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The percentage of UK workforce in five major industries such as Manufactoring, Services, Agriculture/Fishing, Construction and Energy/water in 1841 and 2011 present differences relevant to analyse.

Firstly, the Service industry is clearly the main workforce industry in UK in both years showing also the highest increase from 33%, in 1841, to 81%, in 2011. On the opposite side, the workforce percentages in Manufactoring and Agriculture/Fishing industry decreased to 9% and 1%, respectively, while in 1841 they were the main industries following the services industry.

Even tho the variance in the Construction and the Energy/water industries weren’t significant, the first one increased by 3% and the second decreased to 1%.

In conclusion, the services industry leads with even a higher percentage the English workforce and all the industries had a decrease in its percentage except the Services and the Construction one.

Word Count: 140

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

workforce: 4

industries: 4

services: 4

industry: 4

percentage: 3

construction: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends and changes in the UK workforce across the five industries between 1841 and 2011. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., the initial percentage for the Service industry). To improve, ensure all data cited is accurate and consider providing more specific comparisons and details to support your overview. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an attempt to organize the information, but the flow could be improved. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. For example, using transition words like 'However,' 'In contrast,' or 'Similarly' can help to clarify the relationships between different data points. Also, ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus and that the sentences within the paragraph support that focus.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and variety. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'percentage,' you could incorporate synonyms like 'proportion' or 'share.' Also, try to use more specific vocabulary related to economic trends and workforce distribution to enhance the sophistication of your language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and proper article usage. For example, 'Manufactoring' should be 'Manufacturing,' and 'Even tho' should be 'Even though.' Proofreading carefully and focusing on sentence structure will help to improve grammatical accuracy.

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