Bar Chart

Band 7+: The bar charts below show the percentage of men and women in employment in three countries in 2005 and 2016

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The image shows bar charts comparing employment rates between men and women for Canada, South Korea, and Sweden in 2005 and 2015. In 2005, Canada's male employment rate was 70% and female's was 55%; South Korea had 75% male and 30% female; Sweden had 65% male and 45% female. In 2015, Canada's male employment rate was 70% and female's was 65%; South Korea had 75% male and 45% female; Sweden had 70% male and 50% female.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart illustrates the percentages of men and women in employment in three countries, namely Canada, South Korea and Sweden from 2005 to 2015.

Overall, the employment rates for both genders was the highest in South Korea. Notably, the employment rates for both men and women increased in Canada and South Korea, while in Sweden, the rate for male decreased, whereas that of female increased over the period.

Looking at male employment, South Korea acoounted for the highest figures, starting at roughly 75% in 2005 and rising slightly to around 78% by 2015. Similarly, Canada also experienced an increase, with the percentage of working men standing at 61% in 2005 before climbimg sharply to 70% in 2015. Meanwhile, the figure for Sweden was almost 78% in 2005 before decreasing to 70% in 2015.

In terms of female employment, the figure for Canada stood at aproximately 38% in 2005 before reaching 55% in 2015. Meanwhile, the percentage for Sweden was around 45% in 2005, followed by a moderate increase to 50% in 2015. However, the figure for South Korea was 30% in 2005 before rising slightly to just 35% in 2015.

Word Count: 191

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

employment: 5

south: 5

korea: 5

canada: 4

sweden: 4

before: 4

figure: 3

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Task Response

The report generally addresses the task by describing the bar charts and identifying overall trends. However, there are several inaccuracies in the data presented, such as the male employment rates for Canada and Sweden in 2005, and the female employment rate for Canada in 2005. Additionally, the report incorrectly states that South Korea had the highest employment rates for both genders overall, while the data shows that male employment was highest in South Korea but female employment was not. The report also misstates the time period as 2005 to 2015, whereas the task specifies 2005 and 2016. To improve, ensure that data is accurately reported and that the overview correctly summarizes the main trends without misinterpretation.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is well-organized and easy to follow. The introduction clearly paraphrases the task, and the overall trend is presented effectively. The body paragraphs are logically divided by gender, and the use of linking words like 'similarly', 'meanwhile', and 'however' aids cohesion. Minor lapses, such as the slightly abrupt transition between the two body paragraphs, are present but do not significantly hinder understanding. To improve, consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas more smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and demonstrates a good range, with words like 'illustrates', 'notably', 'moderate increase', and 'climbed sharply'. However, there are some inaccuracies and less natural choices, such as 'acoounted' (misspelling of 'accounted'), 'climbimg' (misspelling of 'climbing'), and 'aproxomately' (misspelling of 'approximately'). Additionally, phrases like 'the highest figures' could be more precise. To achieve a higher score, focus on using more sophisticated and precise vocabulary with consistent accuracy.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'while in Sweden, the rate for male decreased, whereas that of female increased'. However, there are several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement ('rates... was the highest' should be 'rates... were the highest'), and incorrect prepositions or articles. Punctuation is generally correct, but the errors in spelling and grammar, though minor, are noticeable. To improve, ensure consistent subject-verb agreement and proofread for spelling mistakes.

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