Bar Chart

Band 6+: The bar charts below show the prevalence of obesity among boys and girls aged 12 to 19 years by ethnicity, in the United States for the years 2004 and 2014.

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The image depicts two graphs showing the prevalence of obesity among boys and girls aged 12-19 years in the United States, by ethnicity, comparing data from the years 2004 and 2014. In the boys' graph, Non-Hispanic White shows an increase from 12% to 17%; Non-Hispanic Black remains at 20%; Hispanic increases from 19% to 27%. In the girls' graph, Non-Hispanic White increases from 9% to 14%; Non-Hispanic Black also increases from 16% to 29%; Hispanic shows a decrease from 20% to 12%. Each graph has three categories under the heading "Ethnicity," and the data is presented as percentages on the vertical, left-aligned Y-axis ranging from 0 to 30%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The two bar charts give information about prevalence of obesity among boys and girls between 12 and 19 years-olds by ethnicity, in the US for the years 2004 and 2014.

Generally, boys gained more obesity compared to girls in two groups. Ethnicity is divided into three groups Non-Hispanic White, Non-Hispanic Black and Hispanic.

To begin with boys, obesity percentages of theirs are higher in Non-Hispanic White and Hispanic boys than those girls’. In 2004, Non-Hispanic White boys show 12% while Hispanic ones gained 13%. In 2014, Non-Hispanic Whites shows 17% which is much less than Hispanic boys’ (27%). However, Non-Hispanic Black boys’ obesity percentages are less than Non-Hispanic Black girls’, showing 11% and 20% for the years 2004 and 2014.

In terms of girls, Non-Hispanic Black girls gained the highest weight compared to Non-Hispanic White and Hispanic girls, in 2004 it was 16% and raised significantly to 29% which is the highest among both boys and girls. However, Non-Hispanic White girls’ show the lowest percentage among girl’s ethnicity, 9% in 2004 and 14% in 2014. Hispanic girls gained 12% in 2004 which is similar to Hispanic boys (13%) but in 2014 17% which is much less than Hispanic boys (27%).

Word Count: 200

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

non-hispanic: 10

girls: 7

hispanic: 7

white: 5

obesity: 4

gained: 4

black: 4

which: 4

among: 3

ethnicity: 3

girls': 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by describing the main trends and comparing the data across ethnicities and genders. However, there are several inaccuracies in the data (e.g., Hispanic boys in 2004 are stated as 13% instead of 19%, and Hispanic girls in 2014 are stated as 17% instead of 12%). Additionally, the overview is somewhat vague and does not clearly summarize the most significant trends, such as the overall increase in obesity for most groups and the notable rise among Non-Hispanic Black girls. The report also contains some grammatical and word-choice issues (e.g., 'gained more obesity', 'percentages of theirs', 'girls' ethnicity'). To improve, ensure data accuracy, provide a clearer summary of key patterns, and refine language for clarity and precision.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a logical structure with an introduction, an overview, and separate paragraphs for boys and girls. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear references (e.g., 'obesity percentages of theirs', 'gained more obesity'). The overview is somewhat vague and could be more precise. To improve, use clearer topic sentences and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Also, use cohesive devices more effectively to link ideas within and between sentences.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, with some attempts at variation (e.g., 'prevalence', 'gained', 'raised'). However, there are instances of imprecise or informal word choices (e.g., 'gained more obesity', 'gained the highest weight') and repetition (e.g., 'gained' used multiple times). To improve, use more precise and formal vocabulary, such as 'experienced an increase', 'showed a rise', or 'had the highest prevalence'. Also, avoid informal phrases like 'gained weight' in an academic context. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several errors and awkward constructions that affect clarity. Examples include 'between 12 and 19 years-olds' (should be 'aged 12 to 19'), 'obesity percentages of theirs' (should be 'their obesity percentages'), and 'Non-Hispanic Whites shows' (subject-verb agreement). Punctuation is mostly correct, but some sentences are run-on or lack proper connectors. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct use of possessive forms, and sentence structure. Reviewing grammar rules for comparatives and percentages would also be beneficial.

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Band 6+: The bar charts below show the prevalence of obesity among boys and girls aged 12 to 19 years by ethnicity, in the United States for the years 2004 and 2014.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The bar charts below show the prevalence of obesity among boys and girls aged 12 to 19 years by ethnicity, in the United States for the years 2004 and 2014.

The bar charts below show the prevalence of obesity among boys and girls aged 12 to 19 years by ethnicity, in the United States for the years 2004 and 2014.

The bar charts below show the prevalence of obesity among boys and girls aged 12 to 19 years by ethnicity, in the United States for the years 2004 and 2014.

The bar charts below show the prevalence of obesity among boys and girls aged 12 to 19 years by ethnicity, in the United States for the years 2004 and 2014.

Other Topics:

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the percentage contribution of the IT and service industries to the GDP

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The chart below shows waste collection by a recycling centre from 2011 to 2015.

The type of media that people of different age groups used to get daily news in one country in 2011.

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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