Bar Chart

Band 6+: The bar graph below shows the stock price of four different technology companies from 2011 to 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The bar graph below shows the stock price of four different technology companies from 2011 to 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image shows a bar graph of stock prices for four technology companies from 2011 to 2016. In 2011, the prices for Facebook, Google, Apple, and Yahoo were approximately 7000, 500, 4000, and 7200 respectively. For 2012, the values were 10000, 500, 33000, and 6000. In 2013, the prices were 12500, 500, 6000, and 5000. The 2014 stock prices were 15000 for Facebook, 500 for Google, 11500 for Apple, and 3000 for Yahoo. In 2015, the corresponding values were 17500, 500, 2500, and 2800. Finally, in 2016, the stock prices were 19500 for Facebook, 500 for Google, 5000 for Apple, and 2000 for Yahoo.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The illustration presents the stock cost of Facebook, Google, Apple, and Yahoo between 2011 and 2016.

Overall, the numbers for Facebook increased steadily, whilst that of Yahoo increased. Apple company experienced dramatic fluctuations. Google stocks remained stable.

In 2011, Facebook and Yahoo started off at approximately the same price at around 5500. Both companies exhibited starkly different trends. Over the given period Facebook witnessed a steady rise reaching to 20000 in 2016. By contrast, Yahoo decreased steadily hitting a little less than 5000 between 2014 and 2015 then dropped one last time to around 2000 and 2016.

The stock prices for Apple met sharp ups and downs. the company commenced the given period at nearly 5000. It peaked at more than 30000 in 2012, this was followed by more fluctuations before ending the period at a little more than 5000. The other significant feature is that Google stocks expenses remained the same over the recorded period with the little more than 0.

Word Count: 162

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

facebook: 4

yahoo: 4

period: 4

google: 3

apple: 3

little: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by identifying the main trends for all four companies. The overview is clear, and the body paragraphs group the information logically. To improve, ensure that the overview is fully accurate; for instance, you mentioned Yahoo increased, whereas the data suggests a general decline. Additionally, pay attention to grammatical precision and punctuation, such as capitalizing the start of sentences (e.g., 'the company commenced...') and avoiding slightly awkward phrasing like 'Google stocks expenses'. Overall, the report provides a good summary of the key features and makes relevant comparisons.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. However, the progression of ideas is occasionally interrupted by punctuation errors and awkward phrasing. For instance, the use of a comma to join two independent clauses (comma splice) in the final paragraph affects the flow. To improve, ensure that each sentence is grammatically complete and use a wider variety of cohesive devices (e.g., 'In terms of...', 'Regarding...', 'Moving on to...') to transition between different companies more smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate for describing trends (e.g., 'steady rise', 'dramatic fluctuations', 'peaked'). However, there are some instances of imprecise word choice. For example, 'stock cost' and 'Google stocks expenses' are not the most natural ways to refer to 'stock prices'. Additionally, 'the little more than 0' is awkward phrasing. Aim to use more precise financial terminology such as 'share prices', 'valuation', or 'trading value' to enhance the sophistication of your report.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical issues that hinder the overall quality. There is a lack of capitalization at the start of sentences (e.g., 'the company commenced...'), and there are comma splices where full stops or semicolons should be used. Additionally, some prepositional uses are slightly off (e.g., 'reaching to 20000'). To improve, focus on sentence structure variety and ensure that basic mechanics, such as capitalization and punctuation, are applied consistently throughout the text.

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