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Band 5+: The chart below depicts cardiovascular disease mortality trends for male and female adults in the United States from 1979 to 2001.

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Image for topic: The chart below depicts cardiovascular disease mortality trends for male and female adults in the United States from 1979 to 2001.

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The image displays cardiovascular disease mortality trends from 1979 to 2002, measured in deaths in thousands. For males, deaths are approximately: 520 (1979), 510 (1981), 490 (1983), 500 (1985), 470 (1987), 470 (1989), 460 (1991), 450 (1993), 460 (1995), 440 (1997), 430 (1999), 450 (2001). For females, deaths are roughly: 490 (1979), 470 (1981), 480 (1983), 470 (1985), 460 (1987), 450 (1989), 450 (1991), 440 (1993), 470 (1995), 450 (1997), 460 (1999), 470 (2001).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The chart illustrates the amount of deaths caused by cardiovascular disease for males and females in the United States between 1979 and 2002.

Overall, there is a big divergence between the number of deaths for both genders. For males, the highest disease mortality trend was captured in the first three years, the situation was completely opposite for women. Females were killed by the disease the most in between 1998 and 2000.

The number of deaths for males and females experienced an increase in between 1979 and 1981 before a slight fall. From that time, males only captured a slow decrease.

However, after 1981 the deaths for women increased to 500000 deaths, until the figure suddenly fell to 480000 deaths in 1989. The number for females reached it’s peak of 510000 deaths in 2001. The trend captured changes every year and the numbers never remained stable

Word Count: 145

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

deaths: 7

males: 4

females: 4

between: 4

disease: 3

number: 3

captured: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains several issues regarding data accuracy and logical consistency. While the overview identifies a difference between genders, the specific claims made (such as females peaking in 2001 at 510,000 or having the highest mortality between 1998 and 2000) contradict the provided data. Additionally, some phrasing is slightly inappropriate for an academic report, such as 'Females were killed by the disease.' To improve, focus on accurately extracting trends from the visual information and ensuring that the comparisons between the two groups are supported by the actual figures provided. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks a clear organizational structure. While there is an attempt at an overview, the progression of ideas is somewhat disjointed. The transition between discussing male trends and female trends is abrupt. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic (e.g., one paragraph for male trends and another for female trends, or one for general trends and another for specific comparisons). Use a wider variety of cohesive devices (e.g., 'In contrast,' 'Conversely,' 'Regarding...') to link sentences and ideas more smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and repetitive. Phrases like 'the situation was completely opposite' and 'the trend captured changes' are imprecise and informal. There is also an inappropriate use of the word 'captured' in this context. Aim to use more academic and precise terminology for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated,' 'declined steadily,' 'peaked,' or 'remained relatively stable.' Avoid overly dramatic phrasing like 'Females were killed by the disease,' and instead use more objective language like 'The mortality rate for females was highest...' Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect the flow of reading. There are issues with comma splices (joining two independent sentences with only a comma) and incorrect use of possessive pronouns (e.g., 'it's' instead of 'its'). The sentence structures are relatively simple. To improve, work on using complex sentence structures, such as subordinate clauses (e.g., 'While male mortality rates declined, female rates showed more fluctuation...'), and ensure that subject-verb agreement and punctuation are consistently accurate.

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Band 5+: The chart below depicts cardiovascular disease mortality trends for male and female adults in the United States from 1979 to 2001.

Check Your Answer On This Topic?

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The chart below depicts cardiovascular disease mortality trends for male and female adults in the United States from 1979 to 2001.

The chart below depicts cardiovascular disease mortality trends for male and female adults in the United States from 1979 to 2001.

The chart below depicts cardiovascular disease mortality trends for male and female adults in the United States from 1979 to 2001.

Other Topics:

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The chart below shows the percentage distribution of energy sources used in a country from 1990 to 2020.

The chart below gives information about computer ownership in the US from 1997 to 2012.

The chart below gives information about computer ownership in the US from 1997 to 2012.

Average number of hours per day that people spent watching TV, using the Internet and reading books between 2010 and 2020

The graph below shows information about wheat exports in counties between 1985 and 1990.

Check Your Answer On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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