Bar Chart

Band 5+: The chart below gives the information about global sales of games software, CDs and DVD or video. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information.

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The image depicts a bar graph showing global sales (in billion dollars) for games software, DVDs/video, and CDs from 2000 to 2003. In 2000: games software 12 billion, DVDs/video 18 billion, CDs 36 billion; 2001: games software 14 billion, DVDs/video 20 billion, CDs 33 billion; 2002: games software 17 billion, DVDs/video 22 billion, CDs 31 billion; 2003: games software 20 billion, DVDs/video 30 billion, CDs 27 billion.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The provided chart bar provides information about the worldwide sales in billion dollars generated from computer games,cds and dvd over the period from 2000 to 2003

As is observed from the bar chart , initially in 2000 the highest proportion of sales seen in cds while the smallest proportion accounted for the computer games

At the beginning of the period, Cds had the highest figures at approximately 35$ billion of the of sales. The second largest sells was occupied by DVD while computer gaming made up minor proportion with 15 billion. Over the following years both dvd and cd increased moderately

Until 2003 DVD sales had grown up rapidly to 30billion while games software also rose significantly reaching 20$ but CD sales declined slightly from 35$ in 2000 to 30$ in 2003

Word Count: 132

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sales: 5

billion: 3

computer: 3

proportion: 3

while: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends and provides relevant data from the graph. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., CD sales in 2000 and 2003). To improve, ensure data accuracy and consider including comparative language to highlight the changing relationships between the categories over time. Also, pay attention to grammar and expression for clarity. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but the flow could be improved. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. For instance, transition words like 'However,' 'In contrast,' or 'Subsequently' could enhance the logical progression of your report. Also, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to improve clarity.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. Try to incorporate more specific vocabulary related to sales trends (e.g., 'plummeted,' 'plateaued,' 'surpassed') to provide a more nuanced description. Also, be mindful of using correct terminology (e.g., 'games software' instead of 'computer games').

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and accurate use of articles and prepositions. For example, sentences like 'DVD sales had grown up rapidly' could be improved to 'DVD sales grew rapidly.' Proofreading carefully and focusing on sentence structure will enhance the grammatical accuracy of your writing.

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Task Response

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Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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