Bar Chart

Band 7+: The chart below gives the number of people employed in five types of work in a certain region in Australia in 2001 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The chart below gives the number of people employed in five types of work in a certain region in Australia in 2001 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image features a bar chart titled "Number of people employed in five types of work", with the vertical axis displaying values from 0 to 180,000 in increments of 20,000 and the horizontal axis listing five job categories: Sales, Accounting, Computing, Nursing, and Farming. A legend at the bottom defines two data series: 2001 and 2008. For Sales, the 2001 value is approximately 150,000 and 2008 is approximately 167,000. For Accounting, 2001 is roughly 68,000 and 2008 is roughly 64,000. For Computing, 2001 is about 57,000 and 2008 is about 76,000. For Nursing, 2001 stands at approximately 53,000 and 2008 is around 64,000. For Farming, 2001 is around 23,000 and 2008 is approximately 18,000.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar charts compare the number of people employed in five types of work in certain region in Australia in 2001 and 2008.

Overall, population of most spheres increased slightly over the period, except accounting and farming, which showed a minor decrease. Sales sphere had a dominant position compared to all other ones, while farming had the lowest figure in both years.

In 2001, largest number of people were interested in working in sales field with approximately 150,000 people. In the next given year, it held its position and experienced slight increase to above 160,000. Turning to computing and nursing, both categories witnessed insignificant increase over the years with a modest difference between them, from just lower 60,000 to slightly lower 80,000 and from roughly 50,000 to slightly over than 60,000 workers, respectively.

Regarding to other categories of work, working in accounting services was more popular in 2001, with about 70,000 employees, whereas in 2008 it was 60,000. People working in farms category had the lowest figure among all other ones accounting for just above 20,000 in 2001. This figure witnessed a marginal fall, decreasing to about 19,000 employees, in 2009.

Word Count: 191

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 4

slightly: 3

accounting: 3

other: 3

figure: 3

working: 3

60000: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by providing an overview and detailed comparisons of employment numbers across the five job types for both years. The overall trend is correctly identified, and key data points are presented with appropriate approximations. However, there are a few minor inaccuracies and lapses: the final year is mistakenly stated as 2009 instead of 2008, and some numerical descriptions are slightly imprecise (e.g., 'just lower 60,000' for computing in 2001, which should be around 57,000). Additionally, the phrase 'Regarding to' should be 'Regarding' or 'With regard to'. These issues do not detract significantly from the overall clarity and task achievement, but refining these details would enhance the report's accuracy and professionalism.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. However, there are some minor lapses in cohesion, such as the abrupt transition to 'Regarding to other categories of work' and the final sentence mentioning '2009' instead of '2008', which could confuse the reader. To improve, ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next and that all time references are consistent. Additionally, consider using more varied linking phrases to enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and mostly accurate, with some good attempts at paraphrasing (e.g., 'dominant position', 'witnessed insignificant increase'). However, there are a few awkward or imprecise phrases, such as 'population of most spheres' and 'just lower 60,000', which could be rephrased for greater clarity and naturalness. To improve, aim for more precise and varied vocabulary, and ensure that all terms are used in the correct context.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, with some complex sentences used effectively. However, there are several grammatical errors and phrasing issues, such as 'in certain region' (missing article), 'Regarding to' (should be 'Regarding'), and 'slightly over than 60,000' (incorrect comparative). Additionally, the final sentence incorrectly states '2009' instead of '2008'. To improve, pay closer attention to article usage, prepositions, and consistency in time references. Proofreading for these minor errors will enhance the overall accuracy.

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