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Band 6+: The chart below presents information on the annual revenues of three department stores in a UK city from 2001 to 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The chart below presents information on the annual revenues of three department stores in a UK city from 2001 to 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image shows annual revenues from 2001 to 2015 in million pounds for Grand Mall, Owens, and J&W. Grand Mall's revenue starts at 30 in 2001, increases to 40 by 2003, peaks at 50 in 2004, then decreases to 40 by 2008, dips to 30 in 2011, rises to 35 by 2015. Owens begins at 30 in 2001, fluctuates slightly between 30 to 40 until 2006, declines to 20 by 2008, maintaining 20 until 2010, then rises slightly to around 25 by 2015. J&W records 0 from 2001 to 2006, jumps to 20 in 2007, increases rapidly to 30 by 2008, proceeds steadily to 35 by 2010, then climbs consistently to 50 by 2015.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The chart illustrates data about annual incomes of three department stores in a UK town during 2001 and 2015. Overall, it is obvious that J&W mall is new in the industry and showed a significant improvement and left behind the others experiencing a little increase followed by slow down.

In 2001, Grand Mall and Owens dominated the market with near revenues and they followed similar trends during 14-year period. Their respective revenues are 40 million and 30 million pounds and both of them plummeted in 2008 by decreasing their profits by 10 million, respectively. After this year, they experienced little fluctuations till the end and finished at the same point with 26,000,00 pounds, approximately.

Furthermore, newcomer J&W leveled off until 2006 with zero profit. Next year, there is a significant increase in the profit and it is equal to income of Owens. Moreover, its rising tendency continued slightly and it finished the period at the highest amount in 2015.

Word Count: 159

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

million: 3

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Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the chart and making relevant comparisons. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., initial revenues, final revenues). To improve, ensure greater accuracy in reporting the data and consider including more specific details about the fluctuations and trends observed in the chart.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a general overview and identifies some key trends, but the organization could be improved for better flow. The 'Overall' statement is a good start, but the subsequent paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences and transitions to guide the reader. Consider grouping information more thematically, such as dedicating a paragraph to each store or focusing on specific periods and comparing the stores' performance within those periods. The use of cohesive devices is present but could be more sophisticated to enhance the connection between ideas.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary relevant to the task, such as 'dominated,' 'plummeted,' and 'fluctuations.' However, there are instances where the word choice could be more precise (e.g., 'near revenues,' 'little increase followed by slow down'). Expanding the range of vocabulary related to financial trends and comparisons would enhance the report. Also, ensure accuracy in using vocabulary related to quantities (e.g., '26,000,00 pounds' should be '26,000,000 pounds').

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect clarity. For example, 'J&W mall is new in the industry and showed a significant improvement and left behind the others experiencing a little increase followed by slow down' is a run-on sentence and could be restructured for better clarity. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and accurate use of articles and prepositions. Proofreading carefully for these errors will improve the overall grammatical accuracy.

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