Bar Chart

Band 4+: The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. Leisure time in a typical week in hours - by sex and employment status, 1998-99.

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Image for topic: The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. Leisure time in a typical week in hours - by sex and employment status, 1998-99.

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The image presents a bar graph showing leisure time in a typical week in hours by sex and employment status for the years 1998-99. Employment status is categorized as Employed (Full Time), Employed (Part Time), Unemployed, Retired, and Housewives. Males in Full-Time employment have around 40 hours of leisure time, while Females have around 30 hours. Males in Part-Time employment have around 70 hours, and Females have around 50 hours. Unemployed Males have just under 85 hours, and Females have just over 70 hours. Retired Males have just under 80 hours, and Females have around 60 hours. Male Housewives have around 45 hours, and Female housewives have around 80 hours.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The graph illustrates the free time of different sex in difference occupation. unemployed and retired get more free time than other job holders.

Describing the graph we can see at first the full time employed person were male get almost 45 percent off time and female get about 38 percent . In next case there are only free time for the female which is exact 40 percent of total part time job. After that the unemployed people get more free time for them self. whereas the male get more free time which is more than 80 % and women get just below 80 percent of total time.

In case of every job we see that male are getting more off time than female. However for the retired person’s difference between the free time is 2-3 percent. Finally, housewives are only women so they get overall half of their extra time

Word Count: 150

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

percent: 5

female: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains significant inaccuracies and a lack of clarity. The data interpretation is flawed, and the percentages mentioned are not derived from the graph's data. The structure is weak, and the language is imprecise. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data from the graph, organizing the information logically, and using precise language to describe trends and comparisons. Also, avoid introducing information not present in the graph.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and paragraphing. The ideas are not presented in a logical order, making it difficult to follow the main points and comparisons. Consider organizing the information into paragraphs based on employment status or gender to improve coherence. Use cohesive devices (e.g., 'in contrast,' 'similarly,' 'however') to link ideas and sentences more effectively.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks precision. There are instances of inappropriate word choice (e.g., 'difference occupation,' 'get almost 45 percent off time'). Expand your vocabulary related to describing data and trends. Use more specific and accurate language to represent the information in the graph. For example, instead of 'get more free time,' use 'have a greater amount of leisure time.' Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and incorrect use of articles and prepositions. Sentence structure is often awkward and unclear. Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and sentence construction. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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