Bar Chart

Band 6+: The chart below shows the percentage of children in a European country who took part in four kinds of activities in 2009

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The image displays a bar chart titled 'The percentage of children in four kinds of activities, 2009', showing data for age groups 5-8, 9-11, and 12-15 years old. Participation percentages were as follows: Watch TV - 5-8 years (97%), 9-11 years (82%), 12-15 years (80%); Read comics - 5-8 years (62%), 9-11 years (65%), 12-15 years (65%); Play video games - 5-8 years (60%), 9-11 years (57%), 12-15 years (40%); and Ride bikes - 5-8 years (67%), 9-11 years (60%), 12-15 years (82%).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart compares the percentages of children in a European country who participate in for kinds of activities in 2009.

Overall, it is clear that the most popular activity was watching TV among the children aged 5-8 years old , whereas ride bike was the most popular among aged 12-15 years old children . In contract, Playing video games was the lowest proportion of the participation among all aged children.

Regarding watching TV was the most popular activity among children aged 5-8 at approximately 95%, whereas, the proportion for those aged 9-11 and 12-15 were both just below 80% . Reading comics was the most popular activity among children aged 9-11 and 12-15 at about 67% both, in contrast the lowest proportion rate for the children aged 5-8 was just below 65%. Riding bikes was the most popular form of entertainment for children aged 12-15 at about 80%, the proportion rate for children aged 8-5 was just under 70% and the least popular pastime was for children aged 9-11 at just above 60% respectively.

Comparing the least popular activity among all aged children was playing video games in 2009.The children aged 12-15 were the least entertained in this trend and witnessed at about 32%.

Word Count: 205

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

children: 11

popular: 7

among: 6

12-15: 5

activity: 4

proportion: 4

about: 3

least: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately covers the main features of the chart and makes relevant comparisons. The overall trend is identified, and key data points are presented. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data (e.g., watching TV percentages, reading comics percentages, and video game percentage) and a few omissions (e.g., not mentioning the exact percentages for all age groups in each activity). The report could be improved by ensuring data accuracy and providing a more balanced overview of all activities. Additionally, some phrasing is awkward (e.g., 'in contract' instead of 'in contrast'), and the structure could be more coherent. Overall, the response meets the task requirements but with some lapses.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction and body paragraphs, but the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear referencing. For example, the phrase 'In contract' is a typo for 'In contrast', and the sentence 'Regarding watching TV was the most popular activity...' is grammatically incorrect and affects clarity. The paragraphing could be improved by grouping related information more logically, and the use of cohesive devices is sometimes repetitive or inaccurate. To improve, focus on using a range of linking words accurately and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.

Lexical Resource

The report uses some appropriate vocabulary for describing data (e.g., 'proportion', 'participation', 'popular'), but there are several inaccuracies and awkward choices. For instance, 'ride bike' should be 'riding bikes', and 'the least entertained in this trend' is unclear. The range of vocabulary is limited, and there is repetition of phrases like 'the most popular'. To improve, use a wider variety of synonyms and more precise terms (e.g., 'accounted for', 'represented', 'exhibited'). Also, ensure correct word forms and collocations.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity. Examples include 'participate in for kinds' (should be 'four kinds'), 'whereas ride bike was' (should be 'whereas riding bikes was'), and 'In contract' (should be 'In contrast'). There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and sentence structure, such as 'Regarding watching TV was the most popular activity...' which is a fragment. The range of grammatical structures is limited, with many simple sentences. To improve, practice using a variety of complex structures, ensure subject-verb agreement, and proofread for punctuation and spelling errors.

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