Line Graph

Band 5+: The chart below shows the percentage of households with different kinds of technology in the UK from 1997 to 2001. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The chart below shows the percentage of households with different kinds of technology in the UK from 1997 to 2001. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image features a line graph titled "Percentage of Households" with a vertical axis spanning from 0 to 90 in intervals of 10 and a horizontal axis marking the years 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, and 2001. The graph tracks five technologies: CD player, Telephone, Computer, Internet, and DVD player. Recorded data points by category across the years 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, and 2001 are: CD player: 60% (1997), 70% (1998), 70% (1999), 75% (2000), 80% (2001); Telephone: 20% (1997), 20% (1998), 30% (1999), 40% (2000), 75% (2001); Computer: 40% (1997), 45% (1998), 50% (1999), 55% (2000), 70% (2001); Internet: 10% (1997), 18% (1998), 20% (1999), 30% (2000), 60% (2001); DVD player: 26% (1997), 15% (1998), 20% (1999), 30% (2000), 50% (2001).

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The line graph illustrates the proportions of five different household technology in the United Kingdom, over a five year period from 1997 to 2001.

Overall, all household appliences had substantial fluctuations with notable increase in percentages. Cd player was the highest figure in the graph, while internet had surpassed the dvd player in the end.

In 1997, CD player commenced from 60% with slight increase to 70% before remaining stable in 1999. In contrast, after 1999 CD player rise gradually from 70% to approximately 73% and then rise up to 80% regarding as the highest household item.However, computer started at 40% then it experienced surge over the timeframe, from 46% in 1998 to 50% in 1999. After that this trend continued to reach it’s peak at 70%.

Conversely, telephone showed an upward trend increasing up from 20% to 30% in 1999, then it scyroketed up to around 73% outrasing the computer. In comparison, DVD player was around 27% in 1997 and then it declined in 1998 to 16%. Interestengly, from 1998 onward this percentage rebouded it’s figure from 20% in 1998 to 40% while regarding as the lowest proportion in the UK. Internet on the other hand, commenced from low 10% with gradual increase to 20% before remaing the same in 1999.Additionally, following years it rose up to 60%.

Word Count: 219

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

player: 5

household: 3

increase: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by describing the main trends and comparing the technologies, but it contains several inaccuracies and omissions. For example, the telephone is incorrectly described as starting at 20% and rising to 30% in 1999, while the data shows it at 20% in 1997 and 1998, then 30% in 1999. The DVD player's figures are also misreported (e.g., 27% in 1997 instead of 26%, and 16% in 1998 instead of 15%). Additionally, the report omits the Internet's exact figures for 2000 and 2001, and the description of the Internet as 'the lowest proportion' is inaccurate since it surpasses the DVD player by 2001. The overall structure is clear, with an introduction and an overview, but the body paragraphs could be better organized to group similar trends. To improve, ensure all data points are accurately reported and avoid vague approximations like 'around 73%' when exact figures are available. Also, proofread for spelling and grammatical errors (e.g., 'appliences', 'scyroketed', 'rebouded', 'remaing').

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a logical structure with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs, but the flow is sometimes disrupted by unclear referencing and abrupt transitions. For example, the phrase 'regarding as the highest household item' is awkward, and the shift between technologies could be smoother. Use clearer linking words and ensure each paragraph focuses on a coherent set of data points. The overview is present but could be more precise in summarizing the main trends.

Lexical Resource

There is an attempt to use a range of vocabulary, such as 'commenced', 'surge', 'skyrocketed', and 'rebounded', which shows some flexibility. However, there are several inaccuracies and inappropriate word choices, e.g., 'appliences' (appliances), 'outrasing' (outpacing), 'scyroketed' (skyrocketed), and 'rebouded' (rebounded). The report would benefit from more precise and natural phrasing, such as 'experienced a significant increase' instead of 'rise up to'. Ensure that technical terms like 'CD player' are capitalized correctly. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity. Examples include missing articles ('the United Kingdom'), incorrect verb forms ('rise' instead of 'rose'), subject-verb agreement problems, and run-on sentences. There are also spelling mistakes (e.g., 'Interestengly', 'remaing'). To improve, focus on using a wider range of sentence structures with accurate grammar, and proofread to eliminate basic errors. Punctuation, especially commas and full stops, needs attention to enhance readability.

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