Line Graph

Band 5+: The chart below shows the percentage of households with different kinds of technology in the UK from 1997 to 2001. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The chart below shows the percentage of households with different kinds of technology in the UK from 1997 to 2001. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image features a line graph titled "Percentage of Households" with a vertical axis spanning from 0 to 90 in intervals of 10 and a horizontal axis marking the years 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, and 2001. The graph tracks five technologies: CD player, Telephone, Computer, Internet, and DVD player. Recorded data points by category across the years 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, and 2001 are: CD player: 60% (1997), 70% (1998), 70% (1999), 75% (2000), 80% (2001); Telephone: 20% (1997), 20% (1998), 30% (1999), 40% (2000), 75% (2001); Computer: 40% (1997), 45% (1998), 50% (1999), 55% (2000), 70% (2001); Internet: 10% (1997), 18% (1998), 20% (1999), 30% (2000), 60% (2001); DVD player: 26% (1997), 15% (1998), 20% (1999), 30% (2000), 50% (2001).

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The line graph illustrates the proportion of residents who used various type of technological pattens in the UK between 1997 and 2001.

Overall, while the precentage of technology pattens usage rose during this period, the CD palyer was the most popular among the other pattens. Furthermore, the rate of DVD palyer recoreded the lowest usage at the end of the time frame. Additionaly, the proportion of telephone increased significantly.

In 1997, the rate of internet was the least popular among the other pattens, satnding at 10% and the technology patten of computer more than dobule that of the internet, accounting for 40%. In contrast, the CD player was the highest proportion at the beginning of the period, accounting for 60%.

The rate of telephone, internet and DVD presented just under 20%, and 1999, both internet and DVD palyer were similar, standing at 20%. However, at the end of the period, the rate of telephone surpassed the computer, internet and DVD, at nearly 75%. The rate of residential technlogy usage in CD palyer increased stedilay, accounting for 80% by 2001.

Word Count: 179

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

internet: 5

pattens: 4

palyer: 4

proportion: 3

usage: 3

period: 3

telephone: 3

accounting: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by describing the main trends and making some comparisons. However, there are several inaccuracies and omissions. For instance, the telephone is incorrectly described as starting at 'just under 20%' when it was exactly 20%, and the DVD player's initial value is misrepresented. Additionally, the report omits the significant rise in internet usage and the overall comparison of all technologies. The writing contains numerous spelling and grammatical errors that affect clarity. To improve, focus on accurate data reporting, include all key features, and proofread for language accuracy.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs, but the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear references. For example, 'the technology patten of computer more than dobule that of the internet' is confusing. The use of cohesive devices is limited, and some sentences are not well connected. To improve, use a wider range of linking words and phrases (e.g., 'in contrast', 'similarly', 'while') and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea. Also, avoid repeating 'the rate of' and 'the proportion of' excessively.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is limited and contains several spelling errors (e.g., 'pattens' instead of 'patterns', 'palyer' instead of 'player', 'recoreded' instead of 'recorded', 'satnding' instead of 'standing', 'dobule' instead of 'double', 'stedilay' instead of 'steadily'). There is some attempt to use synonyms (e.g., 'proportion', 'rate', 'percentage'), but the range is narrow. To improve, learn correct spelling of common task-related words and use more precise and varied vocabulary (e.g., 'experienced a significant increase', 'remained relatively stable', 'saw a dramatic rise').

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement ('the technology patten of computer more than dobule' should be 'the percentage of computers was more than double'), incorrect verb forms ('the rate of telephone, internet and DVD presented' should be 'the rates for telephone, internet and DVD were'), and missing articles ('the rate of internet' should be 'the rate of internet usage'). There is also inconsistent tense usage. To improve, practice using a variety of sentence structures (e.g., complex sentences with relative clauses) and ensure subject-verb agreement and correct verb tenses throughout. Proofreading for common errors would also help.

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