Bar Chart

Band 5+: The chart below shows the percentage of young people aged 15 to 24 employed in different sectors in New Zealand in 1990 and 2000.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The chart below shows the percentage of young people aged 15 to 24 employed in different sectors in New Zealand in 1990 and 2000.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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The image shows a bar chart with employment data for young people aged 15 to 24 in New Zealand. Manufacturing: 1990 - 10%, 2000 - 10%; Hotel and Restaurant: 1990 - 13%, 2000 - 22%; Agriculture: 1990 - 7%, 2000 - 3%; Commerce: 1990 - 25%, 2000 - 35%; Transport: 1990 - 8%, 2000 - 5%; Other Services: 1990 - 11%, 2000 - 8%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The bar graph illustrates the comparison of workers in percentages from a different sectors in New Zealand by teenagers from 15 to 24 years old by two stages of time (from 1990 to 2000).

Overall, the statistics illuminate that the commerce is considerably upsurged and got the maximum point while others are lagged considerable behind.

It is conspicious that different sectors in New Zealand (manufacturing, agriculture, transprot and other service) had started with the same point in 1990 a little bit more than 15 per cent (17%). They dramatically had plunged to 10 per cent in , however the transport sector had gotted the minimum point around 7 per cent in 2000.

It is clear from the data that “hotel and restaurnat” sector considerably had climbed from 15 to 27 per cent and had gotted the biggest difference of sectors. The commerce sector had started from a little bit less than 30 per cent and exponentially had soared to 37,5 per cent.

Word Count: 162

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sectors: 3

point: 3

sector: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task and provides an overview and some specific details from the graph. However, there are inaccuracies in the data reported and some issues with the clarity of the language. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data and ensure that the language used is precise and clear. Also, avoid using informal language.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an attempt to organize information into paragraphs, but the flow of ideas is not always smooth. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be improved to enhance coherence. For instance, the connection between the overall statement and the subsequent detailed observations could be clearer. Consider using more effective linking words and phrases to guide the reader through the data.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a mix of basic and more advanced vocabulary. There are instances where word choice could be more precise to better convey the intended meaning. For example, 'upsurged' and 'lagged considerable behind' could be replaced with more accurate and natural-sounding alternatives. Expanding the range of vocabulary related to describing trends and comparisons would also be beneficial.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Issues include incorrect verb tenses ('had started', 'had plunged', 'had gotted'), subject-verb agreement problems, and misuse of prepositions. Sentence structure is also somewhat simplistic, limiting the expression of more complex relationships between data points. Focus on improving accuracy in basic grammar and exploring a wider range of sentence structures to enhance grammatical range.

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