Line Graph

Band 4+: The chart here illustrates data about how many people participated in five different activities in two distinct countries between 2000 and 2020.

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The image presents a line graph showing participant numbers in five activities from 2000 to 2020. Film club starts at 10 in 2000, rises slightly to 12 in 2005, then sharply increases to 60 by 2020. Martial arts begins at 30 in 2000, peaks at 50 in 2010, then declines to 30 by 2020. Amateur dramatics starts at 40 in 2000, dips to 30 in 2005, then grows moderately to 35 by 2020. Table tennis begins at 20 in 2000, increases to 30 in 2005, peaks at 40 in 2015, and ends at 55 by 2020. Musical performances start at 50 in 2000, remain constant through 2005, then decline gradually to 20 by 2020.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given line graph shows data on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in one country- namely Melbourne, Australia from 2000 to 2020.

Overall, in this graph showed five different activities [ which people did] that, Film club, Martial arts, Amateur dramatics, Table tennis and Musical performance. The given activities showed upward trends accept Martial art and Amateur dramatics. Film club started 65 people in 2000 and stabled at the same in 2020.

On the one hand, initially table tennis started with 15 people and it was slightly increased at almost 20 by 2005, that was stabled from 2005 to 2010. After that film club’s people was increased rapidly from 19 to 50 by 2020. Whereas, amateur dramatics were decreased 32 to 5 participant respectively in 2020.

In conclusion, musical performance was starting at 0 in 2000 and after 2005, that was reached 12 in 2020.

Word Count: 151

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 4

activities: 3

amateur: 3

dramatics: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report demonstrates an attempt to address the task, but it contains significant inaccuracies and misinterpretations of the data presented in the graph. Key points are often inaccurate, and there are issues with clarity and coherence. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data, providing specific details with correct figures and timeframes, and organizing the information in a more logical and coherent manner. Also, avoid including information not present in the graph.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization is somewhat unclear, and the flow of information is disrupted by grammatical errors and inaccuracies. Paragraphing is present but could be used more effectively to group related ideas. To improve coherence, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smooth and logical. Using cohesive devices more effectively will also enhance the readability of your report.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks the precision needed to accurately describe the trends and data in the graph. There is some repetition of words and phrases, which limits the effectiveness of the report. To improve, try to use a wider range of vocabulary related to trends (e.g., 'fluctuated,' 'plateaued,' 'soared') and quantities (e.g., 'a significant proportion,' 'a marginal increase').

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. These errors significantly impact the clarity and accuracy of the report. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammatical structures and sentence construction. Review and correct errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. Practicing writing and getting feedback on your grammar will help you improve your accuracy over time.

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