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Band 5+: the chart shows information about the actual and expected figures of population in three cities

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The image displays a bar chart titled 'Population size (1990 - 2000)' showing population figures in millions for three cities. For Jakarta, the 1990 population was 9.0 million, the 2000 prediction was 11.0 million, and the 2000 actual figure was 12.0 million. For Shanghai, the 1990 population was 12.0 million, the 2000 prediction was 11.0 million, and the 2000 actual figure was 14.5 million. For Sao Paulo, the 1990 population was 18.0 million, the 2000 prediction was 22.0 million, and the 2000 actual figure was 24.0 million.

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The graph chart illustartes information about the actual and expected figures of population in three cities: Jakarta, Sao Paulo, and Shanghai.

Overall, the leader of population size throughout the period was Sao Paulo. Meanwhile, population size in Jakarta was relatively less then in Jakarta.

Looking at the graph chart in more detail, from 2000 in prediction to 2000 actual figures, the population size of Sao Paulo was significantly higher then in other three cities, with the figure of around 24 millions people. In 2000 in prediction, the figure for Shanghai and Jakarta was the same with around 12 millions of people, but in actual figures Shanghai showed increase from approximately 12 to 15.

In cotrast, in 1990, the figure for Shanghai was higher then the figure for Jakarta, with around 13 and 8 respectively. The biggest increase in actual figures experienced Shanghai with the figure of approximately 9 millions people.

Word Count: 150

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

figure: 5

actual: 4

figures: 4

population: 4

jakarta: 4

shanghai: 4

paulo: 3

around: 3

millions: 3

people: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by describing the population figures for the three cities, and it includes an overall trend. However, there are several inaccuracies and omissions. For instance, the 1990 figures for Shanghai and Jakarta are incorrectly stated as 13 and 8 million, whereas the actual figures are 12 and 9 million. Additionally, the report incorrectly states that the 2000 prediction for Shanghai and Jakarta was the same at around 12 million, but the prediction for Jakarta was 11 million. The report also omits the 1990 figure for Sao Paulo and the 2000 prediction for Jakarta. To improve, ensure all key data points are accurately reported and avoid vague statements like 'relatively less then in Jakarta' which is unclear. Focus on presenting the data clearly and accurately.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a logical structure with an introduction, an overview, and detailed paragraphs, but the flow is disrupted by unclear referencing and some awkward phrasing. For example, 'Meanwhile, population size in Jakarta was relatively less then in Jakarta' is confusing and contains a referencing error. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate, such as 'in cotrast' and 'Looking at the graph chart in more detail'. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smooth and logical. Also, avoid repeating the same information in different sections.

Lexical Resource

The report uses some appropriate vocabulary related to data description (e.g., 'significantly higher', 'showed increase', 'experienced'), but there are several inaccuracies and repetitions. For instance, 'illustartes' is a spelling error, and 'less then' should be 'less than'. The phrase 'the leader of population size' is awkward; 'the highest population' would be more natural. To improve, expand your range of vocabulary to include more precise terms for describing trends and comparisons, and ensure correct spelling and word choice. Avoid informal or vague expressions like 'around' when more precise data is available.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity. Examples include 'illustartes' (spelling), 'less then' (should be 'less than'), 'in cotrast' (should be 'in contrast'), and 'the figure of around 24 millions people' (should be '24 million people'). Additionally, some sentences are incomplete or awkwardly phrased, such as 'The biggest increase in actual figures experienced Shanghai' which should be 'Shanghai experienced the biggest increase in actual figures'. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct use of comparative structures, and ensure each sentence is grammatically complete. Proofreading for spelling and punctuation is also essential.

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Band 5+: the chart shows information about the actual and expected figures of population in three cities

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the chart shows information about the actual and expected figures of population in three cities

the chart shows information about the actual and expected figures of population in three cities

the chart shows information about the actual and expected figures of population in three cities

the chart shows information about the actual and expected figures of population in three cities

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