Bar Chart

Band 6+: The chart shows the employment status of adults in the US in 2003 and 2013.

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Image for topic: The chart shows the employment status of adults in the US in 2003 and 2013.

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The image presents "Employment categories of adult population" with numerical data for the years 2003 and 2013 in various sectors: Education training (2003: ~11%, 2013: ~14%), Hotel industry (2003: ~12%, 2013: ~10%), Medical (2003: ~8%, 2013: ~12%), Building (2003: ~5%, 2013: ~9%), Business (2003: ~44%, 2013: ~25%), Self-employed (2003: ~18%, 2013: ~32%), and Unemployed (2003: ~4%, 2013: ~6%).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart illustrates the percentage of unemployed and employed adults, divided into six different categories, in the US in 2003 and 2013.

Overall, the proportion of unemployed adults decreased at the end of the year. Although, initially, the major part of adult population was employed in business sector, self-employed became the most employed category in 2013.

In 2003, adults employed in business sector accounted for the highest share among other categories, which is around 47%. Medical’s share was roughly 20%, and the percentage of self employed adults was approximately 11%, as same as unemployed. Other categories accounted for equal or lower than 10% of share.

In 2013, self employed’s share rose considerably to about 31%, overtaking business sector, which share dropped dramatically to roughly 27%. The proportion of adults employed in medical sector declined to around 10%, and this share fell for unemployed adults to approximately 5%, twice less than medical sector. Other three categories’ share increased significantly to between 15% and 20%.

Word Count: 164

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

employed: 6

adults: 6

share: 6

sector: 5

unemployed: 4

categories: 3

business: 3

other: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task and provides an overview, but it contains several inaccuracies and omissions. The overall trend is misstated (unemployment actually increased, not decreased), and some data points are incorrect (e.g., medical sector in 2003, self-employed in 2003, and the final sentence about other categories). To improve, ensure that the overview accurately reflects the main trends, and verify that all data mentioned aligns with the chart. Additionally, avoid vague statements like 'other categories' without specifying which ones, and ensure that all categories are covered or clearly omitted.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction, overview, and two body paragraphs. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear references (e.g., 'as same as unemployed' and 'which share dropped dramatically'). The overview is somewhat vague and could be more precise. To improve, use clearer topic sentences and ensure each paragraph focuses on a distinct time period or trend. Also, use cohesive devices more effectively to link ideas within and between sentences.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary related to describing data (e.g., 'accounted for', 'overtaking', 'declined', 'rose considerably'). However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward choices (e.g., 'as same as unemployed', 'twice less than medical sector'). To improve, use more precise and natural collocations (e.g., 'the same as', 'half of') and vary the language used to describe changes (e.g., 'experienced a significant increase', 'saw a dramatic fall').

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a reasonable range of sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity. For example, 'Although, initially, the major part...' uses 'Although' incorrectly, and 'which share dropped dramatically' should be 'whose share'. Also, 'as same as' is grammatically incorrect. To improve, review the use of relative clauses, comparatives, and conjunctions. Ensure that each sentence is grammatically complete and that punctuation is used correctly to enhance readability.

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Band 6+: The chart shows the employment status of adults in the US in 2003 and 2013.

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The chart shows the employment status of adults in the US in 2003 and 2013.

The chart shows the employment status of adults in the US in 2003 and 2013.

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