Pie Chart

Band 7+: The charts below give information about players of electronic games in South Korea in 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The charts below give information about players of electronic games in South Korea in 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image features three pie charts titled "Age of players", "Gender of players", and "Types of games they like". The "Age of players" chart comprises three categories: Under 18 (39%), 18-36 (38%), and Above 36 (23%). The "Gender of players" chart is split into Male (72%) and Female (28%). The "Types of games they like" chart displays six categories: Actions (43%), Sports (20%), Racing (17%), Role-playing games (7%), Education (7%), and Others (6%).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie charts illustrate the characterictics of game players in South Korea in 2003.

Overall, it can be seen that the electronic games were largerly played by males. Additionally, the vast majority of players was under 36 years old. Regarding the types of games, the most popular category was “Actions”, whereas “Others” was the least favoured option.

In terms of the gender of players, males comprised 72%, while the figure for women was at only 23%. It can also be observed that the groups aged between 18 and 36 and those aged under 18 represented almost the same shares, standing at 39% and 38% respectively. The people above 36 years old made up the remaining 23%.

Action games turned out the most preferrable game, accounting for 43%. Conversely, role-playing and educational games represented the smallest shares (apart from the segment “Others” with a percentage of 6%) of 7% each. The figure for sports games was 3% higher than the proportion of racing games. The former comprised a fifth of all games, while the latter stood st 17%.

Word Count: 177

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Overall Band Score

7.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

games: 7

players: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by presenting an overview and key features of the data, with appropriate comparisons. However, there are a few inaccuracies and omissions: the female percentage is incorrectly stated as 23% instead of 28%, and the age group percentages are slightly misaligned (under 18 at 39% and 18-36 at 38% are swapped). Additionally, the phrase 'stood st 17%' contains a typo. To improve, ensure all data points are accurately reported and proofread for minor errors. Overall, the structure and selection of main features are sound.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is well-organized with a clear overall statement and logical grouping of information. Paragraphing is appropriate, and the use of cohesive devices (e.g., 'Overall', 'In terms of', 'Conversely') helps the reader follow the message effortlessly. Minor lapses: the transition between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother, and the final sentence could be more clearly linked to the preceding comparison. Overall, cohesion is strong and only slightly noticeable.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary with appropriate use of synonyms and paraphrasing (e.g., 'comprised', 'accounting for', 'represented', 'stood at'). There is some flexibility in lexical choice, but a few inaccuracies and awkward phrasings are present, such as 'largerly' (should be 'largely'), 'preferrable' (should be 'preferable'), and 'the figure for women was at only 23%' (which is also a data error, but not assessed here). To improve, use more precise and natural collocations, and ensure correct word forms. The range is adequate but not fully sophisticated. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report uses a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences and passive constructions, with generally good control. However, there are several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from accuracy: 'characterictics' (spelling), 'largerly' (spelling), 'the vast majority of players was' (subject-verb agreement, should be 'were'), 'stood st 17%' (typo, should be 'at'), and 'the figure for women was at only 23%' (incorrect data, but also awkward phrasing). These errors are not frequent but are noticeable. To achieve a higher band, ensure consistent accuracy in grammar, spelling, and punctuation.

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