Line Graph

Band 5+: The charts below show the number of visitors arriving in a particular country for a short trip, and the number of residents leaving that country for a short trip, from 2009 to 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The charts below show the number of visitors arriving in a particular country for a short trip, and the number of residents leaving that country for a short trip, from 2009 to 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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The image contains a line chart tracking 'Visitor arrivals' and 'Resident departures' in thousands of people from Oct-09 to Jun-11. Visitor arrivals data points are approximately: Oct-09, 490; Feb-10, 500; Jun-10, 505; Oct-10, 528; Feb-11, 515; Jun-11, 495. Resident departures data points are: Oct-09, 550; Feb-10, 560; Jun-10, 570; Oct-10, 610; Feb-11, 620; Jun-11, 650.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The given line graph compares the proportion of travellers in unknown country from 2009 to 2011 .

Overall ,it appears that locals had tendency to have a temporary trip to overseas throughout the period.Meanwhile ,visiting this country was preferable at the beginning but less popular at the end of the period .

Firstly, the number of resident departures experienced dramatical increase during 3 years.From October 2009 to October 2010 number increased from 550 people to 600 people then had slight dip , before increasing to above 640 individuals in June 2011.

Secondly, .The observation showed that the amount of visitors arrivals rose steeply in October 2009 ,after it began to drop gradually until it finally reaching 490 visitors by June 2011. To be more specific the number of people was 490 in October 2009 next ,increased to about 520 individuals in October of next year,then had slightly decrease in June 2011.

Word Count: 151

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

october: 5

number: 3

people: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the line graph and making relevant comparisons. The overall trends are identified, and specific data points are included to support the description. However, there are some minor inaccuracies in the data reported and the description of the fluctuations could be more precise. To improve, ensure data accuracy and provide a more nuanced description of the trends, including rates of change and specific comparisons between the two categories.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a generally clear overview of the data, but the organization could be improved for better flow. The use of cohesive devices is present but could be more sophisticated to enhance the connection between ideas. Consider using a wider range of transition words and phrases to guide the reader through the information more smoothly. Paragraphing is adequate, but ensure each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the data.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary, but there's room for improvement in using more precise and varied language to describe trends and quantities. While the vocabulary is generally appropriate, incorporating more sophisticated terms could elevate the writing. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'increase' or 'decrease,' explore synonyms like 'surge,' 'decline,' or 'fluctuate.' Also, be careful about word choice; for example, 'dramatical' should be 'dramatic.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors and phrasing issues impact clarity. Pay close attention to verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and correct article usage. For example, 'number increased from 550 people to 600 people then had slight dip' contains awkward phrasing and tense issues. Proofread carefully to eliminate these errors and enhance the overall grammatical accuracy.

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