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Band 5+: the charts below show the percentage of electricity consumed by different sectors in eastern Australia in2007 and 2010.

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Image for topic: the charts below show the percentage of electricity consumed by different sectors in eastern Australia in2007 and 2010.

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The image displays two pie charts for 2007 and 2010 showing electricity consumption percentages by sectors in Eastern Australia: 2007 - Residential 28%, Commercial 23%, Manufacturing 13%, Aluminium 13%, Other metals 12%, Mining 9%, Transport 1%, Agriculture 1%; 2010 - Residential 28%, Commercial 23%, Manufacturing 9%, Aluminium 13%, Other metals 18%, Mining 9%, Transport 1%, Agriculture 1%.

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The two pie charts delineates the proportion of electricity utilisation eastern Australia by 8 distinctive sectors for year 2007 and 2010.

Considering from an overall perspective, it can be comprehensively observed that there were no major diffrence recorded among all the sectors. Commercial and residential area had the highest consumption while transport and agriculural place had the lowest ratio.

There was considerable distinguish noted between alluminium and manufacturing sector, which had 13% for both but in the year 2010 it shared 9% and 11% respectively.

On the onther hand, another sectors had similar amount of water usage which they had earlier in 2007, transport and agriculture had deepest figure, it was 1%. However, commercial and residential area had 28% and 23%.mining sector accounted for same number 9%. Other sectors had noticeable movement former had 12% and latter had 18%.

Word Count: 139

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sectors: 4

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Task Response

The report covers the main features of the pie charts and provides some relevant comparisons between the two years. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., the manufacturing sector in 2010). To improve, ensure that all data points mentioned are accurate and that the report maintains a clear and logical structure throughout. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and logical flow. The overview is vague and doesn't effectively summarize the key trends. The body paragraphs jump between different sectors without a clear structure, making it difficult to follow the comparisons between 2007 and 2010. Use more cohesive devices to link ideas and improve the overall flow of the report. For example, use transition words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is limited and sometimes inaccurate ('diffrence,' 'distinguish,' 'alluminium,' 'onther'). There are also instances of unnatural phrasing ('water usage' when referring to electricity consumption). Expand your vocabulary related to describing data and trends. Focus on using more precise and appropriate language to convey the information accurately.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and incorrect word forms. Sentence structure is often awkward and unclear. For example, 'There was considerable distinguish noted between alluminium and manufacturing sector' is grammatically incorrect and difficult to understand. Proofread carefully and focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules. Practice writing simple, clear sentences before attempting more complex structures.

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