Pie Chart

Band 4+: the charts below show the percentage of second language classes taken by Australian secondary school students in two different cities in 2017.

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The image presents two pie charts comparing the percentages of second language classes taken by secondary school students in Melbourne and Sydney in 2017. Melbourne's chart details the following language class distributions: Mandarin at 40%, Japanese at 25%, Italian at 15%, Indonesian at 10%, and Other at 10%. Sydney's chart shows Mandarin at 45%, Japanese at 30%, Italian at 15%, Indonesian at 5%, and Other at 5%.

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The pie chart illustrates the information about the classes attended by Australian secondory school students for learning secondary langauge in two specific cities Melbourne and Sydeny in 2017.

Overall, Mandarain language was most popular than other secondary language in both Melbourne and Sydney.While Japanese language being the second most popular language among students. Whereas, other languages including Italian,Indonesian etc had low percentage of students in both of the cities.

In 2017, Sydney had 45% of student from Austalian secondary school learning Mandarain while, there were 40% student attending learning classes in Melbourne.Then, Japanese langauge had most student of Sydney with 30% and 25% from Melborune studying secondary langauge.However, In Melbourne there were 15% of student attempting to learn Italian while, Sydney had 5% only.After that, Indonesian language was learnt by 10% student from Melbourne and 5% from Sydney.Finally, in 2017 there was 10% of Australian students studying other language while, 15% students from Melbourne were interested in learning different langauge.

Word Count: 160

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

language: 6

students: 5

melbourne: 5

student: 5

learning: 4

secondary: 4

langauge: 3

other: 3

sydney: 3

while: 3

there: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately covers the main features of the pie charts, providing a reasonable overview of the language class percentages in Melbourne and Sydney. The comparison between the two cities is present, and the overall trends are identified. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., the percentages for Italian and 'Other' in Sydney are reversed), and the language could be more precise. To improve, ensure all data is accurately represented and proofread carefully. Also, consider using more varied language to describe the data and relationships between the categories.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents the main features of the pie charts, but the organization could be improved. The information is not always presented in a logical order, and the transitions between sentences and paragraphs are sometimes abrupt. Consider grouping similar information together and using clearer transition words to improve the flow of the report.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, but there is room for improvement in terms of precision and sophistication. For example, instead of repeatedly using "popular," try using synonyms like "prevalent," "favored," or "sought-after." Also, be careful with spelling ('Sydeny' should be 'Sydney', 'Mandarain' should be 'Mandarin'). Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and article usage. For example, "Mandarain language was most popular than other secondary language" should be "Mandarin was more popular than other languages." Also, review sentence structure to ensure clarity and avoid awkward phrasing.

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Band 4+: the charts below show the percentage of second language classes taken by Australian secondary school students in two different cities in 2017.

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Answers On The Same Topic:

the charts below show the percentage of second language classes taken by Australian secondary school students in two different cities in 2017.

the charts below show the percentage of second language classes taken by Australian secondary school students in two different cities in 2017.

the charts below show the percentage of second language classes taken by Australian secondary school students in two different cities in 2017.

the charts below show the percentage of second language classes taken by Australian secondary school students in two different cities in 2017.

the charts below show the percentage of second language classes taken by Australian secondary school students in two different cities in 2017.

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