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Band 5+: The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000.

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The image displays two bar charts on the percentage of people aged 60-64 in employment in 1970 and 2000. For men, 1970 employment rates were: Belgium 79%, USA 73%, Japan 85%, and Australia 76%; in 2000, the rates were Belgium 19%, USA 55%, Japan 74%, and Australia 47%. For women, 1970 employment rates were: Belgium 8%, USA 36%, Japan 43%, and Australia 16%; in 2000, the rates were Belgium 7%, USA 39%, Japan 40%, and Australia 18%.

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The charts illustrate the percentages of male and female aged 60-64 in employment in four countries from 1970 to 2000.

Overal, number of men was higher than women in two charts. In first and second chart Japan hit the highest point and the Australia hit the lowest point.

In first chart after Japan, the USA take second place by doing 77% in 1970 and 55% in 2000. And between of them was Belgium by hiting 79% in 1970 and only 19% in 2000.

In second chart the overall rating is the same, but it is based on a smaller percentage. The USA percntage was 36% in the 1970 and it’s rise up to 39%. In Australia there was also litle incresing of percentage from 16% in 1970 to 18% in 2000 . And Belgium take the last place by decreasing from 8% in 1970 to 7% in 2000.

Word Count: 148

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A1 - Beginner
Aim to use more advanced language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

second: 3

chart: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are some inaccuracies in the data reported. The organization is present but could be improved. To improve, focus on accurate data reporting and clearer structure. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization is somewhat unclear, and the flow of information could be improved. The 'overall' statements are vague and don't provide a strong sense of the main trends. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs need to be smoother to enhance readability. For example, instead of stating 'In first chart...' and 'In second chart...', try to integrate the information more cohesively by referring to the specific groups (men and women) or time periods. Clearer topic sentences for each paragraph would also help guide the reader.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive. There's a reliance on phrases like 'hit the highest point' and 'take second place,' which could be expressed more precisely and varied. To improve, try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to trends, comparisons, and data description. For instance, use words like 'dominated,' 'significantly higher,' 'declined sharply,' or 'remained relatively stable.' This will make the report more engaging and demonstrate a better command of language. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses ('was higher' instead of 'were higher'), subject-verb agreement issues ('number of men was higher'), and misuse of prepositions ('by doing 77%'). Sentence structure is also quite simple, limiting the complexity of the analysis. To improve, focus on using a wider range of sentence structures (e.g., complex sentences with subordinate clauses) and carefully proofread for grammatical errors. Pay attention to correct verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and article usage.

Answers On The Same Topic:

The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000.

The charts illustrate the proportions for 60-64-year-old males and females who were employed in various countries in 1970 and 2000. Looking from an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that the figures for both working males and females belonging to the 60-64 age bracket declined from 1970 to 2000 in all countries, with the exception […]

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Band 5+: The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000.

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