Pie Chart

Band 6+: The charts below show the proportion of holiday makers using four different types of accommodation in three different years.

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The image presents three pie charts showing accommodation types chosen by holidaymakers in 1988, 1998, and 2008. In 1988: 52% staying with family, 7% rented apartment, 26% camping, 15% hotels. In 1998: 54% staying with family, 11% rented apartment, 12% camping, 23% hotels. In 2008: 44% staying with family, 22% rented apartment, 16% camping, 18% hotels.

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The pie charts illustrate the number of holidaymakers utilizing four different residences over a 20-year period, commencing in 1988.

In general, it is evident that while the highest figure was registered for staying with family, the lowest was fluctuated between renting an apartment and camping from 1988 to 2008. Notably, a similar proportion was recorded for renting an apartment and hotels.

To begin with, while the number of staying with family was increasing from 52 to 54, camping reduced twofold to 13 between 1988 and 1998. Additionally, there was a slight growth for renting an apartment and hotels, at 22 and 11, respectively throughout the period. Although the proportion of staying with family and camping was dropping insignificantly from 54 and 13 to 44 and 12, renting an apartment was doubled in size, at 22, in 2008. Meanwhile, the figure of hotels stayed steadily, at 22 without alterations.

Word Count: 148

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

renting: 4

apartment: 4

staying: 3

family: 3

camping: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends and provides relevant data from the pie charts. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data cited (e.g., camping reduced twofold to 13, renting an apartment and hotels, at 22 and 11, respectively throughout the period, the figure of hotels stayed steadily, at 22 without alterations). To improve, ensure all data cited is accurate and pay attention to the specific years mentioned in the task. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but the flow could be improved. The introduction and overview are present, but the connection between sentences within paragraphs sometimes feels disjointed. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas and ensure a smoother transition between points. For example, using phrases like 'In contrast' or 'Similarly' can help clarify the relationships between different trends.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. Some phrases are a bit awkward (e.g., 'number of staying with family was increasing'). Try to use more sophisticated vocabulary to describe trends and proportions. For instance, instead of 'increasing,' you could use 'rising,' 'growing,' or 'climbing.' Also, ensure that your word choices accurately reflect the data; for example, 'twofold' might not be the most precise way to describe the change in camping percentages.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'the lowest was fluctuated' is grammatically incorrect; it should be 'the lowest fluctuated.' Also, 'at 22 and 11, respectively throughout the period' is unclear and contains a number agreement error. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and accurate preposition usage. Review your work carefully to identify and correct these errors.

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Band 6+: The charts below show the proportion of holiday makers using four different types of accommodation in three different years.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

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The charts below show the proportion of holiday makers using four different types of accommodation in three different years.

The charts below show the proportion of holiday makers using four different types of accommodation in three different years.

The charts below show the proportion of holiday makers using four different types of accommodation in three different years.

The charts below show the proportion of holiday makers using four different types of accommodation in three different years.

The charts below show the proportion of holiday makers using four different types of accommodation in three different years.

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