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Band 9: The charts show the Australian school leavers did immediately after leaving secondary school.

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The image presents three pie charts detailing the activities of Australian school leavers in 1980, 1990, and 2000. In 1980, 50% pursued further education, 40% were employed, and 10% were unemployed. In 1990, 38% pursued further education, 50% were employed, and 12% were unemployed. In 2000, 37% pursued further education, 55% were employed, and 8% were unemployed.

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The pie charts compare data on what secondary school students did after their studies.

Overall, it is evident that the proportion of students in employment increased, while the percentage pursuing further education decreased. Interestingly, the share of unemployed students fluctuated slightly.

Moving to a more detailed analysis, the percentage of employed students accounted for 40% in 1980; then it went up significantly, representing half of the total a decade later. In addition, 2000 saw a noticeable rise in the number of students who got jobs after finishing secondary school.

As regards the proportion of students who decided to obtain further education, it declined noticeably over twenty years, while the percentage of unemployed students remained unstable. The share of unemployed students was one-fifth of that of students pursuing further education in 1980. Moreover, despite the fact that the number of students who could not get jobs after school peaked at 12% in 1990, there was a slight drop to 8% by the end of the period. The percentage of learners gaining higher education in 2000 was slightly lower than that of 1990.

Word Count: 181

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

students: 10

percentage: 4

education: 4

after: 3

further: 3

unemployed: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by comparing the three pie charts and highlighting key trends. The overall structure is clear, with an introduction, an overview, and a detailed analysis. The data is generally accurate, though there are minor omissions (e.g., exact percentages for further education in 2000 are not explicitly stated in the detailed section). The language is appropriate and coherent. To improve, ensure all key data points are clearly mentioned and avoid vague phrases like 'noticeable rise' without specifying the exact figure. Overall, the response is well-written and meets the task requirements with only a few minor lapses.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is exceptionally well-organized and easy to follow. The overview clearly summarizes the main trends, and the detailed paragraphs logically present the data for each category. Cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'Moving to a more detailed analysis', and 'As regards' are used effectively and naturally, without drawing attention. Paragraphing is skillfully managed, with a clear separation between the overview and the detailed analysis.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is wide-ranging, precise, and sophisticated. Words like 'pursuing', 'fluctuated', 'noticeable rise', 'declined noticeably', and 'peaked' demonstrate excellent lexical control. The phrasing is natural and appropriate for the task, with no errors or awkwardness. The report shows full flexibility in lexical choice.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a wide range of grammatical structures used with full flexibility and control. Sentences are varied in structure, including simple, compound, and complex forms. Punctuation and grammar are correct throughout, and the information from the grammar checker confirms no errors. The writing is fluent and precise.

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Band 9: The charts show the Australian school leavers did immediately after leaving secondary school.

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Answers On The Same Topic:

The charts show the Australian school leavers did immediately after leaving secondary school.

The charts show the Australian school leavers did immediately after leaving secondary school.

The charts show the Australian school leavers did immediately after leaving secondary school.

The charts show the Australian school leavers did immediately after leaving secondary school.

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