Pie Chart

Band 5+: The charts show the percentage of people working in different sectors in towns A and B in two years, 1960 and 2010

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The image showcases pie charts detailing employment percentages in manufacturing, sales, and services sectors across Towns A and B for the years 1960 and 2010. Town A 1960 shows manufacturing 30%, sales 29%, services 41%; Town A 2010 shows manufacturing 10%, sales 16%, services 64%; Town B 1960 shows manufacturing 10%, sales 33%, services 57%; Town B 2010 shows manufacturing 25%, sales 22%, services 53%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The graphs describes the percentage of people who working in few towns in the years 1960 and 2010, in the three sectors: manufacturing, sales and services.

Overall, in the year 1960 the sector sales was in the top of the chart in both of cities with the percentage of people 41% in Town A and 70% in Town B. Then the situation changed in the year 2010 the most popular sector was a manufacturing with percentage 64% in Town A, but in Town B the most popular sector still a sales.

In Town A from 50 years were many changes, the sales sector extremely declined from 41% to 20%, while the manufacturing sector increased from 29% to 64%, services fallen from 30% to 16%.

In Town B was different situation, the sector sales decreased from 70% to 53%, the sector services slightly rose from 20% to 22% and the sector manufacturing growth from 10% to 25%.

Word Count: 156

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sector: 8

manufacturing: 4

sales: 4

percentage: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends and changes in employment sectors between 1960 and 2010 in Towns A and B. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., stating 70% for sales in Town B in 1960, when it was 33%). To improve, ensure data accuracy and consider a more structured comparison, perhaps grouping by sector to discuss changes across both towns simultaneously.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization is somewhat unclear, and the flow of information could be improved. The overall trends are mentioned, but the details are not always presented in a logical order. Consider grouping information by town or sector to enhance clarity. For example, discuss Town A's changes in all sectors before moving to Town B. Also, ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus and that transitions between paragraphs are smooth.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks precision. There is an attempt to use descriptive language, but it is not always accurate or effective. For instance, using more specific terms to describe the changes (e.g., 'significant decline,' 'moderate increase') would enhance the report. Expand your vocabulary related to trends and comparisons to provide a more nuanced analysis. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity. Subject-verb agreement issues, incorrect tense usage, and awkward phrasing are present throughout the text. For example, 'The graphs describes' should be 'The graphs describe,' and 'percentage of people 41% in Town A and 70% in Town B' is grammatically incorrect. Focus on improving basic grammar skills and sentence structure to enhance the accuracy and readability of your writing.

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Band 5+: The charts show the percentage of people working in different sectors in towns A and B in two years, 1960 and 2010

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The charts show the percentage of people working in different sectors in towns A and B in two years, 1960 and 2010

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