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Band 4+: The charts show the percentage of students of different age groups in HEXAS Goalabazar who were admitted to three different instructors classes in2023

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The image presents three pie charts detailing the percentage distribution of students in different age groups admitted to three instructors' classes in 2023: Sam's class shows <17 (10%), 18-24 (30%), 25-30 (40%), 30+ (20%); Kate's class has <17 (20%), 18-24 (60%), 25-30 (15%), 30+ (5%); Evan's class depicts <17 (5%), 18-24 (55%), 25-30 (30%), 30+ (10%).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie charts above illustrated the percentage of students in various age groups in the HEXA’S Goalabazar which were attended to 3 different menthors’ classes in 2023.

Overall,it can be clearly seen that it the largest proportion age in Sam class was allocated to red(18-24),while green(25-30),purple(30+),blue(<17) are other significant ages.Next the population of blue(<17) is resposible for the largest group attended in Kate class.In contrast the most percentages was belong to purple(30+),while blue(<17) was the least in Evan class.

The largest propotion of age, 40%, is red(18-24),followed by green(25-30) which was less than a third.The share of purple(30+) was more than twice as high as blue(<17)(20% and 10% respectively).

The second chart shows that, 60%, is blue(<17),followed by purple(30+) which was a fifth.The share of red(18-24) was more than triple as high as green(25-30)(15% and 5% respectively).

On the other hand, 55%, is purple(30+),followed by green(25-30) which was less than a third.The share of blue(<17) was more than twice as high as red(18-24)(10% and 5% respectively).

Word Count: 166

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

which: 4

largest: 3

blue(<17): 3

share: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains inaccuracies and misinterpretations of the data. The organization is somewhat unclear, and the descriptions of the pie charts are not always accurate. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data from each chart and organizing the information more clearly, perhaps by dedicating a paragraph to each instructor's class. Also, ensure that the overall trends and specific data points are correctly identified and described.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization is somewhat unclear, and the transitions between ideas are abrupt. The introduction could be more concise, and the overview needs to clearly summarize the main trends across all three charts. The body paragraphs lack clear topic sentences, making it difficult to follow the analysis. Improve the flow by using cohesive devices and structuring each paragraph around a central point.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive. There is an attempt to use some descriptive language, but it is not always accurate or effective ('attended to,' 'resposible for'). Expand your vocabulary related to describing data and trends (e.g., proportions, distributions, fluctuations). Focus on using more precise and varied language to enhance the clarity and impact of your report.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. Punctuation is also inconsistent. Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and sentence construction. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors before submitting your work.

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