Pie Chart

Band 5+: The charts show the percentage of volunteers by organizations in 2008 and 2014.

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The image consists of two pie charts comparing the percentage of volunteers by organizations in two separate years, 2008 and 2014. In the 2008 chart: Environment volunteers account for 24%, Sport for 18%, Educational for 15%, Art for 21%, Health Care for 7%, and Others for 15%. In the 2014 chart: Environment volunteers have 17%, Sport is 6%, Educational volunteers account for 25%, Art is 9%, Health Care for 12%, and Others are the largest group at 29%. Each category is distinctly marked by different patterns (diagonal lines, checks, dots, and crosshatches) representing different areas of volunteer work.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The data illustrates the rate of volunteers by organizations in the years 2008 and 2014.

Overall, 2008 and 2014 gained higher percentage rate in the environmental sectors, stating that there’s a lot of people volunteered in environmental area. However, in health care area, they have a little volunteers; gaining just over 1 percentage between 2008 to 2014.

In the year 2008, there’s a lot of volunteer coming from educational section having 24%. While, Environmental also have a lot of volunteers having 21%. Both sports and others section got similar rate by 15%. However, in health care area lacked volunteers with just 7 percentage.

Meanwhile, in 2014, undergo an upward trend coming from 21% in 2008 to 29% in the year 2014 in Environmental section. Moreover, Sports sector rose rapidly gaining 10%. However in year 2014, both environmental and other section decreased in volunteers. In health care area, they gained 1 percentage in volunteers.

Word Count: 153

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

volunteers: 5

environmental: 5

section: 4

percentage: 3

however: 3

health: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report generally addresses the requirements of the task, but there are inaccuracies in the data reported. The structure is present, but the information is not always accurate. To improve, ensure that the data cited is correct and that all key features are mentioned.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization is somewhat unclear, and the flow of information is not always logical. The overall summary is vague and doesn't highlight the key trends effectively. The body paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and transitions, making it difficult to follow the comparisons between 2008 and 2014. To improve coherence, use more precise language to connect ideas and ensure each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the data. For example, dedicate separate paragraphs to discussing increases and decreases in volunteer rates for different sectors.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate but could be more varied and precise. There is some repetition of words like 'volunteers' and 'percentage.' To enhance lexical resource, try to incorporate synonyms and more specific terms related to the data. For example, instead of 'a lot of volunteers,' consider using phrases like 'a significant proportion of volunteers' or 'a considerable number of participants.' Also, ensure that the vocabulary is used accurately and appropriately for the context.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Common issues include incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement problems, and awkward phrasing. For example, '2008 and 2014 gained higher percentage rate' is grammatically incorrect. To improve grammatical accuracy, carefully proofread the report and focus on using correct verb forms, ensuring subject-verb agreement, and constructing clear and concise sentences. Consider using a grammar checker to identify and correct errors.

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