Pie Chart

Band 4+: The charts show the sources of electricity produced in 4 countries between 2003 and 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image contains four pie charts showing electricity sources in India, Sweden, Morocco, and Vietnam; red represents fossil fuel, blue hydro power, and gray nuclear power. India has 82% fossil, 14% hydro, 4% nuclear; Sweden has 44% fossil, 52% hydro, 4% nuclear; Morocco has 95% fossil, 5% hydro; Vietnam has 56% fossil, 44% hydro.

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Essay

The pie charts below illustrate the proportion of electricity manufactured in the years of between 2003 to 2008. These four counties according to the pie charts are: India, Sweden, Morocco, Vietnam. The sources of electricity are: Fossil fuel, Hydro power, Nuclear power.

Overall, Hydro power and Fossil fuel were used by all countries showed below. However, the percentages were different in the different countries. Fossil fuel remained the top place with its 82% in India. However, Hydro power experienced the top place with the 95 % which was close to the full percentage. In spite of the other sources, Nuclear power was remained the last place with 4% in India, 44% in Sweden which predominantly occupied the average percentage.

Hydro power was used in the Sweden so slightly and it reflected the pie charts with 14%. Fossil fuel was held 4% in Sweden. According to the low percents, fossil fuel experienced the next lowest percentage with 5%

Hydro power, in Sweden, was above the average percent. Interestingly, in Vietnam, fossil fuel was above the average respectively

Word Count: 177

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

fossil: 6

power: 6

sweden: 5

charts: 3

india: 3

hydro: 3

place: 3

average: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but includes some inaccuracies and a lack of clear organization. The description of the data is not always precise, and there are instances of misinterpreting the percentages. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data, organizing the information logically (e.g., by country or by source of electricity), and using more precise language to describe the proportions.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and logical flow. The ideas are not presented in a coherent manner, making it difficult to follow the main points and comparisons. Paragraphing is weak, and transitions between sentences and paragraphs are abrupt. To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on structuring the report with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that each address a specific aspect of the data, and a concise conclusion. Use cohesive devices such as transition words and phrases to link ideas and ensure a smooth flow of information.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks precision. There is limited use of synonyms or more sophisticated language to describe the data. The repetition of words like 'percentage' and 'power' could be avoided by using a wider range of vocabulary. To enhance lexical resource, try to incorporate more specific and varied vocabulary related to energy production and proportions. Use a thesaurus to find alternative words and phrases that can add depth and accuracy to your descriptions.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. These errors significantly impact the clarity and accuracy of the information presented. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and sentence structures. Proofread carefully for errors and consider using grammar-checking tools to identify and correct mistakes. Practice writing different types of sentences and vary your sentence structure to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical skills.

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