Process Diagram

Band 5+: The diagram below describes how storm water is recycled in an Australian city.

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Image for topic: The diagram below describes how storm water is recycled in an Australian city.

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The image contains a diagram with no numerical data/percentages, titled "The diagram below describes how stormwater is recycled in an Australian city." It depicts the process from rain through drains, a water recycling plant with four removal steps (plastic, rubbish, soil particles, bacteria, viruses, and molecules, salt), chlorination (4mg/l), to water storage and its use during sunny weather.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The diagram illustrates an Australian city’s storm water recycle process. Overall, there are six stages, which commence with raining and ended with evaporating. Additionally, the water recycling plant is consisting a few things that be removed from the storm water.

Firstly, the water is accumulated in the clouds and fall to the ground by rain, it is drained and saved below surface. Afterwards, the water is recycled by recycling plant, such as plastic, rubbish and then small particles. Moreover, bacteria, viruses, molecules, and salt also removed by the plant.

Troughout, the water combined with 4mg/l of chlorine due to destroy bacterial growth and sterilization process. In addition, it is collected in water storage before the water distributed to the houses. At the end of the process, after the water used for daily needs, it is evaporated by the sun until it come back to the earth again by the rain.

Word Count: 150

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

water: 8

process: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report provides a general overview of the stormwater recycling process, but it lacks specific details and organization. The description of the recycling plant's removal steps could be more precise. The report also includes some irrelevant information (e.g., evaporation) that detracts from the focus on the recycling process itself. To improve, focus on providing a more detailed and structured description of the key stages in the recycling process, and avoid including information that is not directly relevant to the diagram.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents the information in a generally logical sequence, but the organization into paragraphs could be improved. The flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by abrupt transitions and a lack of clear connections between sentences. Consider using more cohesive devices (e.g., conjunctions, pronouns, synonyms) to link ideas and improve the overall flow. For example, the transition between the water recycling plant processes and the chlorination stage could be smoother.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate but somewhat limited. There is some repetition of words and phrases (e.g., 'water,' 'recycled'). To improve, try to use a wider range of vocabulary related to water treatment and recycling processes. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'removed,' consider using synonyms like 'extracted,' 'filtered,' or 'eliminated.' Also, be more precise in describing the stages and components of the process.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Common errors include incorrect verb tenses ('is consisting' should be 'consists of'), subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. For example, 'Troughout, the water combined with 4mg/l of chlorine' is grammatically incorrect and unclear. To improve, focus on using correct grammar and sentence structure. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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