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Band 5+: The diagram below gives information about the number of parcels delivered by twp major mail services companies from 1920 to 2000.

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Image for topic: The diagram below gives information about the number of parcels delivered by twp major mail services companies from 1920 to 2000.

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The image displays a line graph with parcels delivered from 1920 to 2000 for FedEx and TNT. FedEx data points: 1920 at 5,000, increases to 15,000 in 1930, peaks at 25,000 in 1940, then decreases to 10,000 in 1950, remains at 9,000 in 1960, rises to 11,000 in 1970, reaches 15,000 in 1980, 17,000 in 1990, then stabilizes at 22,000 in 2000. TNT data points: 1920 at 3,000, consistent at 4,000 in 1930, rises to 5,000 in 1940, dips to 4,000 in 1950, maintains 5,000 in 1960, climbs to 8,000 in 1970, increases to 11,000 in 1980, jumps to 16,000 in 1990, finally peaks at 29,000 in 2000.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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This diagram illustrate about number of parcels delivered from 1920 until 2000 by FedEx and TNT, two of mail service companies. Overall, parcels delivered by TNT and FedEx have been increased, which will discuss more detail below.

From 1920 until 1960, there was a slight increase in nomber of parcels delivered by TNT from 5000 parcel until they reached over 10000 in 1960. After a slight decrease in 1960 until 1970, there was a rapid growth in distibuted parcels from 1980 until they almost surpass 25.000 parcels in 2000.

However, although FedEx has more package sent in 1920, there was a fluctuation since then. After a big growth until 1940’s, there was a rapid downfall until 1950 and the parcel delivered were lower than in 1920’s at that time. The FedEx were able to improve their performance in 1960 onward, but unable to maintain their lead over TNT and they got surpassed in 1985’s. The package sent to costumer were lower in 2000 than TNT.

From this chart, When TNT almost maintain number of package sent overall except in n 1960 until 1970, FedEX mostly struggled to improve their performance during 1920 until 2000 and they got surpassed by TNT in 1985.

Word Count: 202

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

until: 9

parcels: 5

fedex: 5

delivered: 4

there: 4

package: 3

their: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task and provides an overview and some specific details from the graph. However, there are inaccuracies in the data reported and some issues with clarity and organization. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data, using more precise language, and structuring the report into clearer paragraphs with distinct focuses.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates some organization, but the progression of ideas is not always clear. The overall structure is present with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a concluding statement. However, the transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance the flow of information. Consider using cohesive devices more effectively to link ideas and improve the logical sequencing of events. For example, using transition words like 'In contrast,' 'Similarly,' or 'Furthermore' can help clarify the relationships between different points in the data. Paragraphing could be improved by ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single, clear aspect of the data.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary, but there are instances where word choice could be more precise. While the vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, there's room to enhance the sophistication and accuracy of word usage. For example, instead of using general terms like 'growth' or 'downfall,' consider more specific alternatives such as 'increase,' 'decrease,' 'rise,' or 'decline,' depending on the context. Also, ensure that the vocabulary used accurately reflects the data presented in the graph. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and article usage. Sentence structure is generally simple, but there are opportunities to incorporate a wider range of grammatical structures to enhance the complexity and sophistication of the writing. Pay close attention to correcting grammatical errors and improving sentence construction to enhance the overall quality of the report.

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